The Loves of My Life

The Loves of My Life

I did it! Phase 1 - DONE!!!

Alhamdulillah...that's all I can say...nothing else is greater than Him...

Today, for the first time in 51 days of being on my journey, a few people commented on my appearance. I am thankful because I worked darn hard for this. I can say that this isn't an easy journey at all. But I am proud of myself, my will power, my determination and my strength for being able to uphold my beliefs for what I am working for. 

Today, too, I am embarking into Phase 2 which should officially start on 26 May. Phase 1 started on 2 April and completed on 21 May. That was approximately 49 days. 8.5 kg in 49 days is not too bad for a woman with four kids, and starting her 4 series in age this year. 

I am aiming for a total of 7.8 kg for Phase 2 and my hubby said plus minus should be 10% of my target weight loss. Means I have a margin of error of about 780 g. Lets hope that my 2nd phase would be as fruitful as my 1st. I can't wait. But I also know that the lesser weight you need to lose, the harder it gets.

So, yea, O Allah, I pray for continuous strength and determination to achieve my goal. 

Aamiin...

Mother's Day 2014

Yesterday was Mother's Day celebration and it coincidentally was also my one and only son's birthday. We had a simple but fun celebrations the whole day. 

It started with a simple chapatti breakfast at Kapitan Ampang and then a great lunch with 20 others of Abdul Aziz & Co. members at Johnny's AEON AU2. Later, we had coffee at Coco Cafe and there was a prize giving for all Moms and Dads of Az.Co. 

Later in the evening, my husband, my son and I went to the gym whilst the girls were sent over to gramps. After gym we went for a simple dinner to complete the day at Hameed's. There I said that the day had been a great day and would have been greater if my one and only son wished me Happy Mother's Day too. He kept quiet all the way during dinner. So, I figured, yea, boys are as such. They don't actually care. But I was pretty sure that they still love their moms despite not knowing how to express themselves. 

When we got home last night, I was busy preparing my lunch for today when my son came to the kitchen and asked whether I have checked my Whatsapp message. I said "no" and that I would check later. I was thinking, yea, he sent a mother's day wish to me. And I thought it would be a simple "Happy Mother's Day, Ummi" kind of thing. However, it wasn't. It was surprisingly a long one for a boy who doesn't say much. 

I was so touched, I cried quite badly because I realised how great Allah is for granting me such a life that I have. It might not be a great life for others, but it definitely is a great life for me. Just to share, below is what my son wrote in my his Whatsapp message to me:

[11/5 21:43] Along - Son: Hey.
I purposely wanted to wish you late as this day ends at 12am.
Sorry I didnt do anything special like the girls did.
Well, I really didnt know what to do, because the girls made the bed, and I cant make breakfast for u because we had breakfast outside.
Im gonna promise u smthing at the end of this message.
Firstly, Im gonna start this with "Happy Ummi's Day."
Ummi, I really dont know what to do without u.
Who am I without u?
You've been by my side everytime and I thank Allah for giving me such an awesome mum.
For example,
When Im sad, you are always there to cheer me up.
And when the time I had dengue, u wasted money on juices , kiwi and you even had the time to cook crab soup even though you're busy.

[11/5 21:43] Along - Son: You always sacrifice for ur kids,
Even if ur really hungry, if we ask for some u will still give it to us.
And everyday, you give about ten ringgit for my duit belanja. Imagine how much for a month.U'll always find money for ur children. I guess thats how great mums are.
Oh yea,
When im feeling lonely, I always know who to talk to, just open my whatsapp, and find the contact named "Ummi". You will always be there.
I know u are unhappy if im in the room doing nothing. I know that I should be studying. I'll try to change.
And I also wanna say sorry if I ever had hurt you or break your heart.
I hope u forgive me.
Well, still have more things to say but, I think I should stop here.
Remember the promise I mentioned about in the beginning of this message?

[11/5 21:43] Along - Son: This is the promise.
I promise to myself that I will try to put a smile on your face.
I know Im not really good at keeping promises, but I'll try. JUST FOR YOU.
Once again, Happy Ummi's Day to the greatest ,'awesomest' ,'bestest' most generous,kindest and I couldnt think of any word to describe u already.
I Love You, Ummi.

Well, now you understand why I said I cried quite badly, right? Anyway, once again, Thank You Allah for all the wonderful things You have given me in this life I have today.

Feeling Blessed...

Alhamdulillah...I feel great today as I discovered myself better a little than what I know before. I am so thankful that Allah grants me with great things and great people in life. I am also very thankful that all my efforts are paid off. I know...I know...it has been just over 2 weeks but even so I could already tell and feel the difference.

Right now I am a freak in health and wellness. Why? Because I badly want to get healthier and live better. Why? Because of my 5 loved ones - my hubby and my children. Every time I picture them in my mind, in my eyes, I just know it that I owe them this. 

I am pleased with the changes so far. No more guilty feelings. I am consciously choosing what goes into my body. I am very selective and I am glad that this change comes before it is too late to embrace any changes. 

The numbers on the scale is showing improvements. In fact I get excited getting on the scale now as I am anxious to see how I am progressing. It used to be such a painful dreadful moment. My HR reading is also better. It rests at lower beats now. I am glad so glad. Thankful very thankful. Alhamdulillah. 

All these motivates me to strive further. I can somehow see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just know that this time I am not going to fail.

O Allah, give me strength to continue fighting. Only You are where I place all my hopes and wishes. Aamiin...

I was shock!!!

It was 2 April when I took the test. It couldn't be April Fools because that is only valid on 1st of April every year. But yes, it felt like it. It really felt like April Fools. 

There is no use denying the fact as it would be there no matter how much I wanted to ignore it. The numbers aren't good. It would not get better if I don't take any drastic actions now. 

I walked slowly to my car. I drove aimlessly to my daughter's school. I took her out for lunch but I couldn't swallow anything down my throat. I kept thinking that every single thing that goes into my tummy would just trigger the numbers even more. 

That night I decided I am in control of this. I can do something about it. The key is in my hands. Take ownership Intan...If you don't, who will?

So, April 2nd 2014 is another turning point in my life. Hopefully, this would actually change my life....and this time for good, insha'Allah. 

Ya Allah, please give me strength to do this for You, for myself and my family, Aamiin.

For my hubby, I am sorry for ignoring your "warnings". Shit happens at anytime I do that, B. 

For my jewels - Along, Angah, Achik and Adek - Ummi promise to MAKE IT HAPPEN this time. 

You guys deserve a better me. For sure.

Thank you Allah for letting me "get it" before it's too late. Alhamdulillah. Subhanallah.

It's Been Two Years...

I haven't written anything for over two years now. Never had the chance to. Never had the time to actually. Life had been tough when I was attached to a great insurance company. Had no time to properly pee. Had no time to look longer to left and right. Never had the actual enough time for anything for myself or family besides slogging hard for work and the crazy bosses who had no life themselves.

I am now 4 months into settling in my new nest. Of course it isn't the same as where I was before especially the culture. Majority of us here are Malay Muslims. Things are slower now. I could go to the loo and pee properly now. I even can walk slower to the loo and sometimes stop by colleagues workstations to catch up on the day's gossips. Most importantly, I now can pray peacefully. Thank You God! 

Apart from that I have some time now to get off earlier from work and reach home earlier to spend some "emergency" times with my kids. That is great. I can sometimes now reach home and still see the sunlight dimming through the clouds. How great is that? 

I truly hope that this new place would allow me to stay put for a while. I am kinda tired having to move jobs and making new friends and adapting to new environment. 

Wish me luck!

FEATURE STORY 14

A wife, a daughter, an employee, a mom with 4 kids and a MASTER Graduate!

25 November 2010 is an unforgettbale moment of my life. On this day, I am conferred the Master of Education in TESL by the Yang Di-Pertuan Agong, Tuanku Mizan at Dewan Sri Budiman, UiTM, Shah Alam.

I have been dreaming of this moment of my life since a long time ago. I never thought I would make it here. Even when I was on the stage receiving my scroll from the King, I was still thinking, is this real?

I was in UiTM at approximately 7.15am that morning and we entered via the Padang Jawa gate. There, we had to park our car at the car park provided and boarded the UiTM bus to reach the convocation venue.

The bus was full and we had to stand all the way. It didn't feel tiring although I had to stand on my heels. I could that mom, dad, kids and especially hubby were looking anxious and happy for this moment. Even my bibik was looking bright.

We arrived at the Dewan Budiman area and disembarked the bus. There were so many people. It was like people tsunami. I was looking for familiar faces. There were none nearby. I had to leave my parents, kids and hubby and went to locate for the place where I should assemble. It seemed you  need to go as the number stated on your card.

There I was standing while listening to the briefing by the people in charge. Suddenly I heard something unbelievable! That man said "para graduan wanita tidak dibenarkan memakai seluar". What??? This couldn't be happening. I was wearing a "seluar". What on earth would I get a change? Shucks! Don't tell me I could not convocate in these? Then, I approached THE man and he said, "puan boleh pergi ke kaunter dan dapatkan pinjaman kain". Okay, this is SOOOOO great. Would I fit in to the kain? This is turning to be ridiculous.

Yeay! A few minutes later, I got the loaned "kain" and quickly changed into it. Tada! I fit into the kain very nicely. So, I would be able to convocate after all. Yippie!

My parents, kids and hubby couldn't enter the hall as it was already overloaded with people. They had to wait at other rooms and watched my ceremony via the television placed in the room. After waiting for almost 2++ hours, then my turn came. I was nervous but at the same time feeling sooooooooo nervous and touched. I couldn't believe the moment actually came. Full 3 years of struggling, I finally did it!

When I exited the hall later, my family were waiting for me - parents with flowers and kids each with a teddy bear+flowers in their hands. I couldn't help my tears running down my cheeks. My hubby grabbed and hugged me and said he was very proud of me. Gosh! I couldn't stand it and whispered to him "thank you for everything - your time, your sacrifices and also your money!" Then, my parents hugged and kissed me. My mom couldn't control her tears. She kept on crying so I continued crying too. Never thought all of them would be proud of me.

But to tell the truth, I am so proud of myself too. I did it! I showed my kids that nothing stopped mommy from pursuing her dreams - not her marriage, not her job, neither it is her kids.

Thank you Allah, for all the blessings you have given me throughout. Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah. Amin.

FEEDER ENTRY 13

1 December 2010 marks another milestone in my life. Today I start working as Manager, Learning & Growth in Great Eastern Life Assurance Malaysia Berhad.

After almost 11 months in OSK Investment Bank, I am now starting another phase of my life. This is the quickest working journey that I have ever been through in my entire life! I just needed to exit "the bull" and hopefully go to a better place where things would be better for me.

On the day, I was greeted nicely by the staff and was given briefing by a lady called Huei Miin. It was a better scenario altogether on this day as compared to my experience first day on the job in OSK.

After that, I was brought to my work station and was introduced to my boss Peter and the L&G gang, Mellissa, Daisy and Megat. I was also told that one other female staff is on maternity leave and will be back in January. Mellissa was assigned as my buddy during my new days there. She looked fine and friendly. I hope I would have a better journey and experience here.

Thank you Allah for this rezeki and I believe this is where I should belong, if not forever, at least for now...

FEEDER ENTRY 12

A Brand New Year, A Brand New Job



11 January 2010 was the day that I started my new job as Assistant Vice President of Training at OSK Investment Bank. It was such a trying activity as I now live very far away from KL and have to commute to work everyday to be at work at 8.45 am.



Wow ... talking about valuable time. People at OSK really know how to value it! So, I start work on this day and I was late. I reached the basement parking at about 8.40 but couldn't get a space for my car until about 8.50. Finally, one spot was waiting for me. I rushed to the 4th floor to meet Siew Feng. Little that I know we had to attend a briefing before starting work that day. And I was LATE. Every eye was looking directly at me when I entered the KL Room.



After the short, uninteresting, boring briefing, I was brought upstairs to Level 20 where I will be situated from then on. I was introduced to my immediate superior, Cheok, and then the rest of the team. I was very impressed with the warm welcome and the flower and card on my new table! Never had I been welcomed like this before in my entire 12 years of working life.

A few moments later, Cheok called me into her room and briefed me about my schedule for the next 2 weeks. I was happy. They are organised and I am lucky to be in this department.

I hope and pray to Allah that my tenure here will be a memorable, learning experience as well as lucrative one for me, insha'Allah...

FEATURE STORY 13

Home Journal

3 October 2009

Today we went back to BK with a totally new feeling. We were going to wash our new house! Yeay! I am so excited. We are finally going to see our house. And this is sort of like first time for my kids. I am so sure they're going to be more excited since they could play while helping my husband and I clean and wash our new house.

Yan, my sis-inlaw, my dad-inlaw and my maid followed us up to our new house. When we reached there, everyone changed into t-shirts and shorts to start work on the house. My kids were having so much fun "swimming" on the floor while the adults poured lots of water and soap on the floor.

I totally forgot about lunch. At about 4.30pm, I started to feel hungry and looked at what the time was, we packed up and headed for my mom-inlaw's place.

That day, I went back home to Melawati with indescribable feelings.

10 October 2009

We went back to Rasa today to send our new fans and lights to our new house. We bought all the lights at Universal Lighting in Danau Kota area. We spent RM 980 for the lights and the hall's fan. When we reached Rasa, I called up Zarul (his number is pasted on our house's sliding doors) who is an electrician cum wireman, to come over and fix all the lamps and fan together. After 15 minutes, he arrived and said that he would start fixing them all the next day. We had to leave our house keys with him and headed back for KL.

11 October 2009

We weren't there but Zarul continued on work as promised. At about 10 am he called on my phone and said that everything's done. And the bill was RM 85. So, I quickly called Ita, my sis-inlaw to go over to our house and make payments as well as getting the keys back from Zarul. I asked my sis-inlaw how the lights and fan looked like and she said, "OK". I felt so good and anxious to go check them out.

12 - 16 October 2009

This had been the busiest week of furniture shopping for my husband and me. We were getting the basic furniture for our house. We only planned on getting beds, but I ended up buying 2 beds, 1 TV rack, an L-shaped, maroon sofa, and 2 stools. I wanted to get more but money wasn't on my side. I ended up spending RM 1486 for all of them. I also went to Jusco to get cushions, table cloth, rugs and floor mats for my new house.

17 October 2009

THIS IS IT!!! Today is the day we are moving our things over to Rasa our new house. My husband got up in the morning and hunted for a lorry. We argued on whether to get a 1-tonne lorry or bigger. My husband insisted that a 1-tonne lorry would be enough to put all our things in. I said no way, hose. You need at least a 2-tonne lorry. To my surprise, there was no such thing as 2-tonne lorry but instead a 3-tonned lorry. My husband told me that the driver asked for RM 500 not inclusive of workers. What??? That's too expensive. Finally, I called Daffee up and asked for the lorry he usually rents for RDI's graduation shows. I rang up this man called Azri and he said he could come at about 3pm to move our things. I agreed since he was only charging RM 400 all in.

At about 2.45pm, all our stuff were finally loaded into the lorry. And offfffff we were to Taman Seri Rasa. We reached there at about 4.30pm and started unloading all our stuff into the house. I paid RM 450 to the driver since Pak Aladdin was such a nice guy.

By midnite, while everyone else was asleep, I unpacked and cleared up everything. I was so so so tired but I was also so so so happy to be in a place I could finally call my own.