The Message
Today is Our 9th Wedding Anniversary
On this special day, with the advantage of technology, I sent an email to my significant half as a wish for our anniversary. And I am sharing it with you here on my blog.
My dearest Baby...
I am sitting here in my office room, taking a break from the painstaking assignments that I need to complete and reminiscing on this day exactly 9 years ago when you took my hand in marriage. Yes, people may think this is superficial, but I do feel that it was just like 9 days ago that we met. Got married. Learning to love each other (after aprroximately 2 months since the first day we laid eyes on each other). And thinking whether we made the right decision.
Alhamdulillah, undoubtedly, you are my Mr. Right. You may not be perfect but you are definitely perfect for me. You fit me like a glove. And I thank Allah that I am blessed with a good man who loves me sensibly, who understands, who is always two steps behind, who is there to help me up when I fall, who is willing to grow and live with me in our dreams, who holds the light when it is dark, who is my truest friend, and I pray that we could be together for the next 90 years or maybe more.
Baby, it takes two special people to make a loving pair, and I am so glad that I found that special someone. There's joy in just being around you (despite the arguments, good and lame ones, that we've had). A kind of feeling I like to keep for a long long time. Even if I could turn back time, I think I would still be marrying you (serious! honest! even knowing that time can never be turned).
And most importantly, Baby, on this 9th anniversary, we are not celebrating it alone anymore (maybe for many, many years to come), but with four other beautiful creatures that we could call our own. Together, we are complete, we are one, we are a team. On this day, I am proud to tell the world that I am the happiest person, subhanallah.
For the sake of the good times (and bad, too), lets again listen and sing to the lyrics of From This Moment by Shania Twain. Do you still remember this song, baby? The song that was played in the background when I came down the stairs to hold your hand and stand beside you in front of so many smiling guests sharing our happiness.
So, Baby, thank you for being you, thank you for the wonderful moments, thank you for letting me be who I am, thank you for everything, and MOST of all, thank you for loving me.
Love,
saYANG
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
FEATURE STORY 10
To Be or Not To be (To Be Sad or Not To Be Sad: That's My Question)
I wanted to write about this since last Wednesday but I didn't. Today, I am better inspired to actually sit down on my never-comfy office chair with my legs resting on a small shelf underneath my not-big-enough office table and the air-conditioning is running normally (it isn't always this way) keeping me feeling dynamic to write this little story of my life.
Before I indulge into the main idea, let me just keep you abreast with the supporting details. OK, which one do I put first. Yup, I have four munchkins - one Charlie and three Angels. I am very happy to be blessed with them and could not imagine what I would be doing right now, at this age, married, with a satisfying job, an almost completed master degree, three houses I could call my own, one Malaysian-made car, and one Japan-made car, good food, both parents still kicking, the low-profile in-laws, great wonderful friends, without these four little creatures. I believe myself is then less meaningful. Anyway, what I am going to write about today is my second child, my first daughter, Yamna a.k.a. Angah.
Faqihah Yamna Putri is the name we gave her when she came into our lives more than four years ago on May 6, 2004. She was born at Ampang Putri Specialist Hospital in Ampang, at about 1.21pm, on a peaceful Thursday afternoon after my water broke at approximately 13 hours before. She weighed 3.6 kgs and after almost 2 hours of pushing, Dato' Dr. Ashar (my gynae) decided that I gave a last push and he would pull her out with the vacuum. And so he did and there was a beautiful creature being placed on my chest. I cried and I was so happy because God has granted me a baby girl.
I wanted to write about this since last Wednesday but I didn't. Today, I am better inspired to actually sit down on my never-comfy office chair with my legs resting on a small shelf underneath my not-big-enough office table and the air-conditioning is running normally (it isn't always this way) keeping me feeling dynamic to write this little story of my life.
Before I indulge into the main idea, let me just keep you abreast with the supporting details. OK, which one do I put first. Yup, I have four munchkins - one Charlie and three Angels. I am very happy to be blessed with them and could not imagine what I would be doing right now, at this age, married, with a satisfying job, an almost completed master degree, three houses I could call my own, one Malaysian-made car, and one Japan-made car, good food, both parents still kicking, the low-profile in-laws, great wonderful friends, without these four little creatures. I believe myself is then less meaningful. Anyway, what I am going to write about today is my second child, my first daughter, Yamna a.k.a. Angah.
Faqihah Yamna Putri is the name we gave her when she came into our lives more than four years ago on May 6, 2004. She was born at Ampang Putri Specialist Hospital in Ampang, at about 1.21pm, on a peaceful Thursday afternoon after my water broke at approximately 13 hours before. She weighed 3.6 kgs and after almost 2 hours of pushing, Dato' Dr. Ashar (my gynae) decided that I gave a last push and he would pull her out with the vacuum. And so he did and there was a beautiful creature being placed on my chest. I cried and I was so happy because God has granted me a baby girl.
Yamna developed into a beautiful, healthy baby and most importantly, she was so close to me. Just by looking into her eyes could make all my troubles seemed so far away. When most children acquire their speaking skills at 24 months and above, my Yamna didn't look as if she was catching up with the rest of the kids her age. People mentioned to me that I should go for further checkups on why she was not developing the "normal" language abilities at that age. Well, of course, as a mother, I wanted to deny all the possibilities that there was something wrong with her.
At first we, my hubby and I, thought that maybe she has ADHD because we noticed that her attention span is relatively short (as compared to our son) and she didn't like to watch TV or anything of the sort that required her concentration. We visited three different child specialists and none of them thought that there was anything wrong. Dr. Premila (our family child specialist) even said we shouldn't worry because she started talking when she was four (and I thought...hmm, started talking at four and she is now a specialist doctor...that's all right). Having those thoughts at the back of our mind, we (again) didn't bother to do anything further about Yamna's speaking problems.
Later, when she was three plus, and attending a kindy, we began to notice that something might be a little wrong since she couldn't pronounce some words properly. And we read articles from the net. We then thought that maybe she has speech problems. After asking around, we realised that we couldn't afford to see any speech pathologist or therapist because they are all SO expensive! And then again, we carried on with our lives and somehow "ignored" Yamna's problem.
At the end of 2007, my mother seriously told us to check if she had hearing problems (well, she has been talking about this hearing thingy since God knows when and I have been ignoring them). Finally, in December last year, we listened to her and vigorously searched for a cheaper place where we could request for tests to be done on Yamna to detect any possibilities of hearing impairment (another reason for the vigorous search is that my third child, Fajee, was speeding in her language acquisition and I was afraid if Yamna felt anywhere intimidated or lacking because her younger sister was already practically speaking before her!).
So, in January this year, I succeeded in getting Yamna registered at Klinik Audiologi dan Sains Pertuturan HUKM at Jalan Temerloh in Kuala Lumpur, where the fees are unbelievably cheap - RM 5 for every visit.
After several visits and tests, the clinicians there confirmed that Yamna has a moderate to severe hearing impairment. I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me. It did. It ripped my heart deeply. I remembered crying and crying every time I thought of it (I can still cry now especially when she grabs the phone from her little sister, Fajee, whenever I call home from work. Eagerly telling me stories of the day with very little of what she says that I can truly understand). And it's so sad. But I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be sad. Because it is not good if I am sad. I have to be strong to show her that she's special. God takes some little thing from her because He wants to replace it with something better, inshaallah. I want her to believe that. I want her to grow up feeling good about herself and that she could do everything her brother and her sisters can (maybe better). I wish and I always pray that people in her life, especially her family, her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, her friends, would not treat her any different from her other siblings, from other kids her age.
Why? Because Yamna is truly special. She is the life of our family. When she is not around, there's little sound. That's why Along jokingly calls her Hurricane. She is cheerful. She is caring. When I come home from work, she'll be the one at the door greeting me with "Hi Ummi. Ummi finish work? Go jalan?" How would that make you feel? Wonderful, after a long day at work. She is also the "little rascal". She jumps, she shouts, she yells, she runs, she climbs, she messes, she disturbs, she sings, she cries - she does everything as and when she likes. We also call her the runway model. You should see her pictures. She is such a natural at it. She knows exactly the right pose for every picture we take of her. And most of all, is because she is so beautiful. She has natural brown hair. She has big eyes with long, dark eyelashes. She has white, glowy skin. She has nice slender figure. She looks pretty in anything she wears. My father, her granpa, nicks her as "budak lawa".
So, 6th August is THE day. She is meeting the Audiologist, Puan Hanim, and her team is putting the hearing aids into Yamna's little ears. They said that she would be able to hear well with this. They said that then Yamna would be able to talk properly as she could hear the sounds correctly. They also said that by the time she has to go school at 7 years old, she might be able to attend normal school. For all these things they have said, I take it as promises. And, yes, I really, truly, sincerely hope all that is true, inshaallah.
Please pray that my daughter, Yamna, will hear properly so she can speak correctly and lead her life normally. Ameen.
At first we, my hubby and I, thought that maybe she has ADHD because we noticed that her attention span is relatively short (as compared to our son) and she didn't like to watch TV or anything of the sort that required her concentration. We visited three different child specialists and none of them thought that there was anything wrong. Dr. Premila (our family child specialist) even said we shouldn't worry because she started talking when she was four (and I thought...hmm, started talking at four and she is now a specialist doctor...that's all right). Having those thoughts at the back of our mind, we (again) didn't bother to do anything further about Yamna's speaking problems.
Later, when she was three plus, and attending a kindy, we began to notice that something might be a little wrong since she couldn't pronounce some words properly. And we read articles from the net. We then thought that maybe she has speech problems. After asking around, we realised that we couldn't afford to see any speech pathologist or therapist because they are all SO expensive! And then again, we carried on with our lives and somehow "ignored" Yamna's problem.
At the end of 2007, my mother seriously told us to check if she had hearing problems (well, she has been talking about this hearing thingy since God knows when and I have been ignoring them). Finally, in December last year, we listened to her and vigorously searched for a cheaper place where we could request for tests to be done on Yamna to detect any possibilities of hearing impairment (another reason for the vigorous search is that my third child, Fajee, was speeding in her language acquisition and I was afraid if Yamna felt anywhere intimidated or lacking because her younger sister was already practically speaking before her!).
So, in January this year, I succeeded in getting Yamna registered at Klinik Audiologi dan Sains Pertuturan HUKM at Jalan Temerloh in Kuala Lumpur, where the fees are unbelievably cheap - RM 5 for every visit.
After several visits and tests, the clinicians there confirmed that Yamna has a moderate to severe hearing impairment. I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me. It did. It ripped my heart deeply. I remembered crying and crying every time I thought of it (I can still cry now especially when she grabs the phone from her little sister, Fajee, whenever I call home from work. Eagerly telling me stories of the day with very little of what she says that I can truly understand). And it's so sad. But I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be sad. Because it is not good if I am sad. I have to be strong to show her that she's special. God takes some little thing from her because He wants to replace it with something better, inshaallah. I want her to believe that. I want her to grow up feeling good about herself and that she could do everything her brother and her sisters can (maybe better). I wish and I always pray that people in her life, especially her family, her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, her friends, would not treat her any different from her other siblings, from other kids her age.
Why? Because Yamna is truly special. She is the life of our family. When she is not around, there's little sound. That's why Along jokingly calls her Hurricane. She is cheerful. She is caring. When I come home from work, she'll be the one at the door greeting me with "Hi Ummi. Ummi finish work? Go jalan?" How would that make you feel? Wonderful, after a long day at work. She is also the "little rascal". She jumps, she shouts, she yells, she runs, she climbs, she messes, she disturbs, she sings, she cries - she does everything as and when she likes. We also call her the runway model. You should see her pictures. She is such a natural at it. She knows exactly the right pose for every picture we take of her. And most of all, is because she is so beautiful. She has natural brown hair. She has big eyes with long, dark eyelashes. She has white, glowy skin. She has nice slender figure. She looks pretty in anything she wears. My father, her granpa, nicks her as "budak lawa".So, 6th August is THE day. She is meeting the Audiologist, Puan Hanim, and her team is putting the hearing aids into Yamna's little ears. They said that she would be able to hear well with this. They said that then Yamna would be able to talk properly as she could hear the sounds correctly. They also said that by the time she has to go school at 7 years old, she might be able to attend normal school. For all these things they have said, I take it as promises. And, yes, I really, truly, sincerely hope all that is true, inshaallah.
Please pray that my daughter, Yamna, will hear properly so she can speak correctly and lead her life normally. Ameen.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
FEEDER ENTRY 7
A Sad Ending (written on 16 July 2008 about 4pm)
This morning at 8.07 am, when I was getting ready for work, I received a sms from Fara my office friend. She said that she was with Jaja (another office friend) at HKL visiting Jaja's ex-husband who was beaten the night before. In her sms, Fara mentioned that Lang's (the ex-husband) head was badly crushed by the hit. She said that it was 90% damage and he only had 10% chance to live. They were both at the ICU of HKL waiting for miracles to happen. She also informed me that Lang was beaten up by a female colleague's fiance due to passionate reasons.
When my husband came out from the bathroom, I told him about that. He was shocked, too. Even though we don't know Lang that well, but we have had a few acquaintances with him. But one thing we both agreed on that he was a good looking man. While driving to work, I kept thinking of what Fara said. Only 10% chance to live. I quietly said to myself that I was doubtful that he could even survive the day.
Later on at the office I kept going to and fro Fara's room to get the story of what actually happened. But even until about 11+ she was still not in. I was already having the worst on my mind. I kept counting the time when Fara would call and tell me something I would not want to hear though I have expected it.
At about 2.26pm, my phone rang. Fara was on the other line. She informed me that Lang has passed away about 2 hours earlier. I stunted. Fara was crying. I wasn't able to say anything. I couldn't even get "innalillah" out from my mouth. The only thing I managed to say was "ye ke?" How dumb.
Anyway, I was still in hallucination even 30 minutes after. Not being able to digest the news. I went around school informing everyone I thought should know. Everybody said that it was tragic. A very sad ending for a nice man. Indeed it was.
To the late Wan Hazlan...Semoga roh mu dicucuri rahmat Allah dan ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman, inshaallah.
This morning at 8.07 am, when I was getting ready for work, I received a sms from Fara my office friend. She said that she was with Jaja (another office friend) at HKL visiting Jaja's ex-husband who was beaten the night before. In her sms, Fara mentioned that Lang's (the ex-husband) head was badly crushed by the hit. She said that it was 90% damage and he only had 10% chance to live. They were both at the ICU of HKL waiting for miracles to happen. She also informed me that Lang was beaten up by a female colleague's fiance due to passionate reasons.
When my husband came out from the bathroom, I told him about that. He was shocked, too. Even though we don't know Lang that well, but we have had a few acquaintances with him. But one thing we both agreed on that he was a good looking man. While driving to work, I kept thinking of what Fara said. Only 10% chance to live. I quietly said to myself that I was doubtful that he could even survive the day.
Later on at the office I kept going to and fro Fara's room to get the story of what actually happened. But even until about 11+ she was still not in. I was already having the worst on my mind. I kept counting the time when Fara would call and tell me something I would not want to hear though I have expected it.
At about 2.26pm, my phone rang. Fara was on the other line. She informed me that Lang has passed away about 2 hours earlier. I stunted. Fara was crying. I wasn't able to say anything. I couldn't even get "innalillah" out from my mouth. The only thing I managed to say was "ye ke?" How dumb.
Anyway, I was still in hallucination even 30 minutes after. Not being able to digest the news. I went around school informing everyone I thought should know. Everybody said that it was tragic. A very sad ending for a nice man. Indeed it was.
To the late Wan Hazlan...Semoga roh mu dicucuri rahmat Allah dan ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman, inshaallah.
FEEDER ENTRY 6
How Stupid Can A Man Be?
It was the "stupidest" show I have ever witnessed in my entire 35 years of life. There was these two men. Both are prominent figures in the society. One is representing the government and another was, of course against the government, a de facto of the opposition party. It was a debate on the price of petrol in the country. My husband told me that he didn't want to miss the program. He said if you want me to follow you out tonight, we would have to be home by 9 o'clock. Wow, I said to myself, that this must be something important if he couldn't miss it.
Well, as planned, at 9pm sharp he switched to Channel 501 on Astro. There the show was. And I was excited because for the 1st time in 10 years that this man (whom I actually admire so much) was "permitted" to appear live on National TV. Wow, big leap for Malaysia. So, yes, I listened to how the format of the show would be for the night. Then, I saw him there. Standing behind the rostrum. Looking as always, confident and intelligent. And the other man, whom I shall address as "gundu" from here onwards, who looked entirely the opposite. I told myself, nah it's OK to look like what he did because for an uneducated person to look like that on TV was good enough. Am I right, gundu?
When they started debating, I couldn't help but to continue realizing and convincing myself that the gundu is nowhere compared to the de facto leader. All his responses were lame. No facts whatsoever. Everytime he opened his mouth to utter something, it sounded like a sour grape "makcik kampung" gossipping with some other housewife neighbours of the same kampung (no offense...it's not that I have anything against any makciks in kampungs).
"...kalau boleh ingin ku kepul awan dilangit dengan nama Dr. Mahathir dan Siti Hasmah...hehehe" - Gosh! Can you imagine? A minister speaking as such?
It was all the way a vey idiotic journey for him that night. For every brainless thing he said, there were some morons who would applause. Damn! From there the whole of Malaysia could transparently see how UMNO people are like. It's sad though that you can't even see it for yourself. You're such a nincompoop and you don't know!!! or You're such a nincompoop and you don't know??? It was there and then that I felt so sorry for my self, for being a Malaysian, for having to absorb all these nonsense. And I am more sorry for those of you who were too blind to see. Who still forwarded their support to these fools and be double fools themselves. To my children, hang in there, mommy will save you from these madness.
Anyway, for those who did not watch the show, you have missed a lifetime opportunity to see how stupid a man can be. Twas a perfect example.
It was the "stupidest" show I have ever witnessed in my entire 35 years of life. There was these two men. Both are prominent figures in the society. One is representing the government and another was, of course against the government, a de facto of the opposition party. It was a debate on the price of petrol in the country. My husband told me that he didn't want to miss the program. He said if you want me to follow you out tonight, we would have to be home by 9 o'clock. Wow, I said to myself, that this must be something important if he couldn't miss it.
Well, as planned, at 9pm sharp he switched to Channel 501 on Astro. There the show was. And I was excited because for the 1st time in 10 years that this man (whom I actually admire so much) was "permitted" to appear live on National TV. Wow, big leap for Malaysia. So, yes, I listened to how the format of the show would be for the night. Then, I saw him there. Standing behind the rostrum. Looking as always, confident and intelligent. And the other man, whom I shall address as "gundu" from here onwards, who looked entirely the opposite. I told myself, nah it's OK to look like what he did because for an uneducated person to look like that on TV was good enough. Am I right, gundu?
When they started debating, I couldn't help but to continue realizing and convincing myself that the gundu is nowhere compared to the de facto leader. All his responses were lame. No facts whatsoever. Everytime he opened his mouth to utter something, it sounded like a sour grape "makcik kampung" gossipping with some other housewife neighbours of the same kampung (no offense...it's not that I have anything against any makciks in kampungs).
"...kalau boleh ingin ku kepul awan dilangit dengan nama Dr. Mahathir dan Siti Hasmah...hehehe" - Gosh! Can you imagine? A minister speaking as such?
It was all the way a vey idiotic journey for him that night. For every brainless thing he said, there were some morons who would applause. Damn! From there the whole of Malaysia could transparently see how UMNO people are like. It's sad though that you can't even see it for yourself. You're such a nincompoop and you don't know!!! or You're such a nincompoop and you don't know??? It was there and then that I felt so sorry for my self, for being a Malaysian, for having to absorb all these nonsense. And I am more sorry for those of you who were too blind to see. Who still forwarded their support to these fools and be double fools themselves. To my children, hang in there, mommy will save you from these madness.
Anyway, for those who did not watch the show, you have missed a lifetime opportunity to see how stupid a man can be. Twas a perfect example.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
FEEDER ENTRY 5
What Makes People Happy?
Today from 2pm to 6pm I had English class with my Intermediate students. During the Speaking section, we talked about what makes people happy. So, I asked my class what would make them happy. I got all sorts of replies from my students (mind you that they are all between 18 and 22 years old). Some of their interesting responses were SEX, MONEY, LOVE, SUCCESS, POPULARITY, etc.
It was just yesterday that my office roommate asked us that same question, too. And I said SEX. At that time, yeah...I was thinking that if I had sex (like at that moment) I would be happy and not to mention satisfied (not to forget that in order to be happy with the sex, you have to reach climax...hmm...do you?).
But then again, when I asked the question to myself today, it seemed like there are many other things that I have not had that if I do, would make me very very happy. Let me just share what are some things that would fulfill my happiness.
Today from 2pm to 6pm I had English class with my Intermediate students. During the Speaking section, we talked about what makes people happy. So, I asked my class what would make them happy. I got all sorts of replies from my students (mind you that they are all between 18 and 22 years old). Some of their interesting responses were SEX, MONEY, LOVE, SUCCESS, POPULARITY, etc.
It was just yesterday that my office roommate asked us that same question, too. And I said SEX. At that time, yeah...I was thinking that if I had sex (like at that moment) I would be happy and not to mention satisfied (not to forget that in order to be happy with the sex, you have to reach climax...hmm...do you?).
But then again, when I asked the question to myself today, it seemed like there are many other things that I have not had that if I do, would make me very very happy. Let me just share what are some things that would fulfill my happiness.
- Two more sons
- M. Ed TESL completion
- Recruited as a lecturer in a public university
- Pay hike of at least RM 500
- BMW X5 or the new BMW 5 Series
- Strike the Jackpot lottery
- Winning 1st prize in the 4D with a minimum buy of RM 10
- Much bigger house with at least 8 rooms and 4 bathrooms
- Travelling to where ever I want with my family
- A pair of very good hearing aid for my daughter
- With the hearing aid then she'd be able to speak properly
- Financial freedom
- A "rich" (not desperate) housewife
- Progressing and growing online business
- Publishing my first book
- Presenting my first research paper at a conference
- Migrating "temporarily" to either Canada, Australia or New Zealand
- A much bigger kitchen with both wet and dry ones
- A much slimmer figure (haha, isn't that so obvious?)
- Dual coloured hair
And the list goes on and on. If I were to list all the things that make me happy, I believe it would take me ages to complete my list. Or maybe I would not be able to complete the list at all. Why? Because as I go through every day, I am pretty sure that I would come across different things that would make me happy. And what's the use? Most of the time we list down things that we want to get. And we say that once we have it we'd be happy. But are we?
So, after class, I sat down in my office room and I pondered upon the question. And my answer is even without all the 20 things I managed to write above, I AM ALREADY HAPPY. I am happy that my marriage is good. I am happy that I have a wonderful loving patient man as a husband. I am happy I have four beautiful, bright, physically perfect children. I am happy that I have a house to live in. I am happy that I have a car to drive in to work everyday. I am happy that I am able to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am happy that I have been to Indonesia, Thailand, Phillipines, Japan, Australia and America for holidays. I am happy that I have a fulltime, paid job. I am happy that I am in my 4th (final) semester for my masters. I am happy that I am a bit overweight but healthy. I am happy that I can blog. I am happy that I drink at least 2.5 litres of water per day. To cut a long list short, I am happy and thankful for everything that I have today. Most of all, I thank God for allowing me to have the life that I have now.
Alhamdulillah. Subhanallah. Masyaallah. Ameen.
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