FEEDER ENTRY 11

A Promise is A Promise...

I remembered posting an entry about a month ago saying that I was busy then and maybe when I am less busy I would start posting here again. Hahaha...a promise will still be a promise...and today I am renewing my vows...I will continue posting when I am a little loose...I am now tight with so much to do and some miseries of life...

Just be patient and I'll be back...

FEEDER ENTRY 10

Been so so long...

Wow...I suddenly realised that I haven't been writinganything on my blog since August 5. Have I been busy or what? Oh yes, I have been extremely busy with so many things. Of course the never ending assignments especially this is my last semester for coursework. Plus having to teach 3 days a week. And full weekends for my kids and their stuff.

I will be back actively writing again once I am settled with my final semester. Then I think I would have more time (I really hope so).

So, till then. See ya!

FEEDER ENTRY 9

The Reply

Dear Sayang,

I also want to say happy anniversary to us. Do you know what it means by anniversary? It means that we are still together stronger and stronger. Without this moment, there will be no anniversary for us. So today is the best moment in our life. Because tomorrow it will be written in our history book of marriage that we have celebrated our 9th anniversary. Forget the moment in the past because past is history and history come like a flash of memory. That's why Allah creates memory – for people to learn and treasure the relationship but the most important thing is right now, this moment. This moment means we are still husband and wife. 9th anniversary is just the number. The moments we spent together is the most important thing, be it 10 years, 15 years or 30 years.

THIS MOMENT THAT WE ARE STILL TOGETHER THAT COUNTS AND WE CAN STILL REFER EACH OTHER TO THIRD PARTIES AS MY WIFE OR MY HUSBAND.

Your hubby
Baby

P.s I know that you will shed tear when you finish reading it. Please make it big ==> (my husband sent this with tiny lettering. That's why he wants me to zoom in to get the meaning because he knows that I usually cry after reading this kind of email...hehe)

FEEDER ENTRY 8

The Message

Today is Our 9th Wedding Anniversary

On this special day, with the advantage of technology, I sent an email to my significant half as a wish for our anniversary. And I am sharing it with you here on my blog.

My dearest Baby...

I am sitting here in my office room, taking a break from the painstaking assignments that I need to complete and reminiscing on this day exactly 9 years ago when you took my hand in marriage. Yes, people may think this is superficial, but I do feel that it was just like 9 days ago that we met. Got married. Learning to love each other (after aprroximately 2 months since the first day we laid eyes on each other). And thinking whether we made the right decision.

Alhamdulillah, undoubtedly, you are my Mr. Right. You may not be perfect but you are definitely perfect for me. You fit me like a glove. And I thank Allah that I am blessed with a good man who loves me sensibly, who understands, who is always two steps behind, who is there to help me up when I fall, who is willing to grow and live with me in our dreams, who holds the light when it is dark, who is my truest friend, and I pray that we could be together for the next 90 years or maybe more.

Baby, it takes two special people to make a loving pair, and I am so glad that I found that special someone. There's joy in just being around you (despite the arguments, good and lame ones, that we've had). A kind of feeling I like to keep for a long long time. Even if I could turn back time, I think I would still be marrying you (serious! honest! even knowing that time can never be turned).

And most importantly, Baby, on this 9th anniversary, we are not celebrating it alone anymore (maybe for many, many years to come), but with four other beautiful creatures that we could call our own. Together, we are complete, we are one, we are a team. On this day, I am proud to tell the world that I am the happiest person, subhanallah.

For the sake of the good times (and bad, too), lets again listen and sing to the lyrics of From This Moment by Shania Twain. Do you still remember this song, baby? The song that was played in the background when I came down the stairs to hold your hand and stand beside you in front of so many smiling guests sharing our happiness.

So, Baby, thank you for being you, thank you for the wonderful moments, thank you for letting me be who I am, thank you for everything, and MOST of all, thank you for loving me.

Love,

saYANG

FEATURE STORY 10

To Be or Not To be (To Be Sad or Not To Be Sad: That's My Question)

I wanted to write about this since last Wednesday but I didn't. Today, I am better inspired to actually sit down on my never-comfy office chair with my legs resting on a small shelf underneath my not-big-enough office table and the air-conditioning is running normally (it isn't always this way) keeping me feeling dynamic to write this little story of my life.

Before I indulge into the main idea, let me just keep you abreast with the supporting details. OK, which one do I put first. Yup, I have four munchkins - one Charlie and three Angels. I am very happy to be blessed with them and could not imagine what I would be doing right now, at this age, married, with a satisfying job, an almost completed master degree, three houses I could call my own, one Malaysian-made car, and one Japan-made car, good food, both parents still kicking, the low-profile in-laws, great wonderful friends, without these four little creatures. I believe myself is then less meaningful. Anyway, what I am going to write about today is my second child, my first daughter, Yamna a.k.a. Angah.

Faqihah Yamna Putri is the name we gave her when she came into our lives more than four years ago on May 6, 2004. She was born at Ampang Putri Specialist Hospital in Ampang, at about 1.21pm, on a peaceful Thursday afternoon after my water broke at approximately 13 hours before. She weighed 3.6 kgs and after almost 2 hours of pushing, Dato' Dr. Ashar (my gynae) decided that I gave a last push and he would pull her out with the vacuum. And so he did and there was a beautiful creature being placed on my chest. I cried and I was so happy because God has granted me a baby girl.

Yamna developed into a beautiful, healthy baby and most importantly, she was so close to me. Just by looking into her eyes could make all my troubles seemed so far away. When most children acquire their speaking skills at 24 months and above, my Yamna didn't look as if she was catching up with the rest of the kids her age. People mentioned to me that I should go for further checkups on why she was not developing the "normal" language abilities at that age. Well, of course, as a mother, I wanted to deny all the possibilities that there was something wrong with her.

At first we, my hubby and I, thought that maybe she has ADHD because we noticed that her attention span is relatively short (as compared to our son) and she didn't like to watch TV or anything of the sort that required her concentration. We visited three different child specialists and none of them thought that there was anything wrong. Dr. Premila (our family child specialist) even said we shouldn't worry because she started talking when she was four (and I thought...hmm, started talking at four and she is now a specialist doctor...that's all right). Having those thoughts at the back of our mind, we (again) didn't bother to do anything further about Yamna's speaking problems.

Later, when she was three plus, and attending a kindy, we began to notice that something might be a little wrong since she couldn't pronounce some words properly. And we read articles from the net. We then thought that maybe she has speech problems. After asking around, we realised that we couldn't afford to see any speech pathologist or therapist because they are all SO expensive! And then again, we carried on with our lives and somehow "ignored" Yamna's problem.

At the end of 2007, my mother seriously told us to check if she had hearing problems (well, she has been talking about this hearing thingy since God knows when and I have been ignoring them). Finally, in December last year, we listened to her and vigorously searched for a cheaper place where we could request for tests to be done on Yamna to detect any possibilities of hearing impairment (another reason for the vigorous search is that my third child, Fajee, was speeding in her language acquisition and I was afraid if Yamna felt anywhere intimidated or lacking because her younger sister was already practically speaking before her!).

So, in January this year, I succeeded in getting Yamna registered at Klinik Audiologi dan Sains Pertuturan HUKM at Jalan Temerloh in Kuala Lumpur, where the fees are unbelievably cheap - RM 5 for every visit.

After several visits and tests, the clinicians there confirmed that Yamna has a moderate to severe hearing impairment. I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me. It did. It ripped my heart deeply. I remembered crying and crying every time I thought of it (I can still cry now especially when she grabs the phone from her little sister, Fajee, whenever I call home from work. Eagerly telling me stories of the day with very little of what she says that I can truly understand). And it's so sad. But I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be sad. Because it is not good if I am sad. I have to be strong to show her that she's special. God takes some little thing from her because He wants to replace it with something better, inshaallah. I want her to believe that. I want her to grow up feeling good about herself and that she could do everything her brother and her sisters can (maybe better). I wish and I always pray that people in her life, especially her family, her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, her friends, would not treat her any different from her other siblings, from other kids her age.

Why? Because Yamna is truly special. She is the life of our family. When she is not around, there's little sound. That's why Along jokingly calls her Hurricane. She is cheerful. She is caring. When I come home from work, she'll be the one at the door greeting me with "Hi Ummi. Ummi finish work? Go jalan?" How would that make you feel? Wonderful, after a long day at work. She is also the "little rascal". She jumps, she shouts, she yells, she runs, she climbs, she messes, she disturbs, she sings, she cries - she does everything as and when she likes. We also call her the runway model. You should see her pictures. She is such a natural at it. She knows exactly the right pose for every picture we take of her. And most of all, is because she is so beautiful. She has natural brown hair. She has big eyes with long, dark eyelashes. She has white, glowy skin. She has nice slender figure. She looks pretty in anything she wears. My father, her granpa, nicks her as "budak lawa".

So, 6th August is THE day. She is meeting the Audiologist, Puan Hanim, and her team is putting the hearing aids into Yamna's little ears. They said that she would be able to hear well with this. They said that then Yamna would be able to talk properly as she could hear the sounds correctly. They also said that by the time she has to go school at 7 years old, she might be able to attend normal school. For all these things they have said, I take it as promises. And, yes, I really, truly, sincerely hope all that is true, inshaallah.

Please pray that my daughter, Yamna, will hear properly so she can speak correctly and lead her life normally. Ameen.

FEEDER ENTRY 7

A Sad Ending (written on 16 July 2008 about 4pm)



This morning at 8.07 am, when I was getting ready for work, I received a sms from Fara my office friend. She said that she was with Jaja (another office friend) at HKL visiting Jaja's ex-husband who was beaten the night before. In her sms, Fara mentioned that Lang's (the ex-husband) head was badly crushed by the hit. She said that it was 90% damage and he only had 10% chance to live. They were both at the ICU of HKL waiting for miracles to happen. She also informed me that Lang was beaten up by a female colleague's fiance due to passionate reasons.

When my husband came out from the bathroom, I told him about that. He was shocked, too. Even though we don't know Lang that well, but we have had a few acquaintances with him. But one thing we both agreed on that he was a good looking man. While driving to work, I kept thinking of what Fara said. Only 10% chance to live. I quietly said to myself that I was doubtful that he could even survive the day.

Later on at the office I kept going to and fro Fara's room to get the story of what actually happened. But even until about 11+ she was still not in. I was already having the worst on my mind. I kept counting the time when Fara would call and tell me something I would not want to hear though I have expected it.

At about 2.26pm, my phone rang. Fara was on the other line. She informed me that Lang has passed away about 2 hours earlier. I stunted. Fara was crying. I wasn't able to say anything. I couldn't even get "innalillah" out from my mouth. The only thing I managed to say was "ye ke?" How dumb.

Anyway, I was still in hallucination even 30 minutes after. Not being able to digest the news. I went around school informing everyone I thought should know. Everybody said that it was tragic. A very sad ending for a nice man. Indeed it was.

To the late Wan Hazlan...Semoga roh mu dicucuri rahmat Allah dan ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman, inshaallah.

FEEDER ENTRY 6

How Stupid Can A Man Be?

It was the "stupidest" show I have ever witnessed in my entire 35 years of life. There was these two men. Both are prominent figures in the society. One is representing the government and another was, of course against the government, a de facto of the opposition party. It was a debate on the price of petrol in the country. My husband told me that he didn't want to miss the program. He said if you want me to follow you out tonight, we would have to be home by 9 o'clock. Wow, I said to myself, that this must be something important if he couldn't miss it.

Well, as planned, at 9pm sharp he switched to Channel 501 on Astro. There the show was. And I was excited because for the 1st time in 10 years that this man (whom I actually admire so much) was "permitted" to appear live on National TV. Wow, big leap for Malaysia. So, yes, I listened to how the format of the show would be for the night. Then, I saw him there. Standing behind the rostrum. Looking as always, confident and intelligent. And the other man, whom I shall address as "gundu" from here onwards, who looked entirely the opposite. I told myself, nah it's OK to look like what he did because for an uneducated person to look like that on TV was good enough. Am I right, gundu?

When they started debating, I couldn't help but to continue realizing and convincing myself that the gundu is nowhere compared to the de facto leader. All his responses were lame. No facts whatsoever. Everytime he opened his mouth to utter something, it sounded like a sour grape "makcik kampung" gossipping with some other housewife neighbours of the same kampung (no offense...it's not that I have anything against any makciks in kampungs).

"...kalau boleh ingin ku kepul awan dilangit dengan nama Dr. Mahathir dan Siti Hasmah...hehehe" - Gosh! Can you imagine? A minister speaking as such?

It was all the way a vey idiotic journey for him that night. For every brainless thing he said, there were some morons who would applause. Damn! From there the whole of Malaysia could transparently see how UMNO people are like. It's sad though that you can't even see it for yourself. You're such a nincompoop and you don't know!!! or You're such a nincompoop and you don't know??? It was there and then that I felt so sorry for my self, for being a Malaysian, for having to absorb all these nonsense. And I am more sorry for those of you who were too blind to see. Who still forwarded their support to these fools and be double fools themselves. To my children, hang in there, mommy will save you from these madness.

Anyway, for those who did not watch the show, you have missed a lifetime opportunity to see how stupid a man can be. Twas a perfect example.

FEEDER ENTRY 5

What Makes People Happy?

Today from 2pm to 6pm I had English class with my Intermediate students. During the Speaking section, we talked about what makes people happy. So, I asked my class what would make them happy. I got all sorts of replies from my students (mind you that they are all between 18 and 22 years old). Some of their interesting responses were SEX, MONEY, LOVE, SUCCESS, POPULARITY, etc.

It was just yesterday that my office roommate asked us that same question, too. And I said SEX. At that time, yeah...I was thinking that if I had sex (like at that moment) I would be happy and not to mention satisfied (not to forget that in order to be happy with the sex, you have to reach climax...hmm...do you?).

But then again, when I asked the question to myself today, it seemed like there are many other things that I have not had that if I do, would make me very very happy. Let me just share what are some things that would fulfill my happiness.

1. Two more sons
2. M. Ed TESL completion
3. Recruited as a lecturer in a public university
4. Pay hike of at least RM 500
5. BMW X5 or the new BMW 5 Series
6. Strike the Jackpot lottery
7. Winning 1st prize in the 4D with a minimum buy of RM 10
8. Much bigger house with at least 8 rooms and 4 bathrooms
9. Travelling to where ever I want with my family
10. A pair of very good hearing aid for my daughter
11. With the hearing aid then she'd be able to speak properly
12. Financial freedom
13. A "rich" (not desperate) housewife
14. Progressing and growing online business
15. Publishing my first book
16. Presenting my first research paper at a conference
17. Migrating "temporarily" to either Canada, Australia or New Zealand
18. A much bigger kitchen with both wet and dry ones
19. A much slimmer figure (haha, isn't that so obvious?)
20. Dual coloured hair

And the list goes on and on. If I were to list all the things that make me happy, I believe it would take me ages to complete my list. Or maybe I would not be able to complete the list at all. Why? Because as I go through every day, I am pretty sure that I would come across different things that would make me happy. And what's the use? Most of the time we list down things that we want to get. And we say that once we have it we'd be happy. But are we?

So, after class, I sat down in my office room and I pondered upon the question. And my answer is even without all the 20 things I managed to write above, I AM ALREADY HAPPY. I am happy that my marriage is good. I am happy that I have a wonderful loving patient man as a husband. I am happy I have four beautiful, bright, physically perfect children. I am happy that I have a house to live in. I am happy that I have a car to drive in to work everyday. I am happy that I am able to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am happy that I have been to Indonesia, Thailand, Phillipines, Japan, Australia and America for holidays. I am happy that I have a fulltime, paid job. I am happy that I am in my 4th (final) semester for my masters. I am happy that I am a bit overweight but healthy. I am happy that I can blog. I am happy that I drink at least 2.5 litres of water per day. To cut a long list short, I am happy and thankful for everything that I have today. Most of all, I thank God for allowing me to have the life that I have now.

Alhamdulillah. Subhanallah. Masyaallah. Ameen.

ABOUT OUR KIDS 8

Not Talking: A Sign of Autism?

By Robert Needlman, M.D. Provided by: DrSpock.com

Every month I see a few toddlers who are not talking. Most are boys; all are worrying their parents. Some have autism, and others don't.

There are so many children with autism now, that almost everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who has an autistic child. Parents, daycare providers and teachers are all on the lookout. Ten years ago children with autism were often diagnosed as late as age 4 or 5. These days, it seems that most are diagnosed by 3, if not before.

People are also more aware of related diagnoses on the autism spectrum, including Asperger syndrome and Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS). As the "not otherwise specified" part of its name implies, PDD-NOS does not have a very clear cut definition. Children often qualify for PDD-NOS, even though they don't meet the full definition for autism itself.

All of this awareness -- which is a good thing -- and the open-ended nature of the PDD diagnosis makes more parents feel even more insecure. If something is not quite right with their child developmentally, the possibility of autism looms large.

Fear of autism worried the parents of two little boys I saw recently. I'll call them Jack and Tom. They were both around two years old.

Jack did not speak or use sign language, and did not turn to me when I called his name. When I offered him crayons, he took one, but he wasn't interested in scribbling or in playing give-and-take. He opened and closed the door of my toy car, and spun the wheels again and again, but did not "zoom" it across the floor. Jack's mother said she had a hard time getting him to play with her. "He does sometimes," she said, "when he wants to."

Tom looked very different. "I can ask him to get something from another room," his dad explained, "and he goes right there and gets it." He also could point to lots of pictures in books when his parents asked him to. He only said a very few words. But he did make a sound that seemed to mean "What's that?", and he would point at things with his index finger -- a sign that he expected his parents to look where he was looking. We played catch back and forth with a rolled up paper towel, and Tom could have played all day, giggling.

I think that Jack probably has a condition on the autism spectrum. It will be important for him to have a thorough assessment. He is already in speech therapy, but he will need additional therapies to help him with social interactions, attention and play.

Tom probably has a condition that is sometimes called Specific Expressive Language Delay. In other words, he is a late-talker. In general, late talkers do well. Some of them have difficulty learning to read when they're older, and it's not clear that speech therapy helps late talkers much. On the other hand, it can't hurt. I also encouraged his parents to teach him some sign language, and was pleased to learn that he already knew some signs.

Two toddlers who are not talking. Two very different problems.

P.S. My 4-year old isn't talking properly yet and the doctor found out that she has hearing problem. So, if your child isn't talking properly at after 2 years old, consult the doctor. Don't IGNORE.

WHAT SAYS THE TABIB? 7

Slow Down, You're Eating Too Fast

Adapted from Health.yahoo.com by Lucy Dazinger

It's tough not to rush through your meals; some days, I barely have time to sit down for lunch till 3 p.m.! But slowing down can help you slim down: Researchers from the University of Rhode Island at Kingston found that people who ate more slowly consumed 70 fewer calories per meal than speed eaters.

Instead of plowing through your meals, pace yourself using this soothing breathing technique before you start to eat: Inhale deeply through your nose, then exhale slowly. Repeat several times, says Yvonne Nienstadt, nutrition director at Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Baja California, Mexico.

As for me, I find that pouring myself a glass of red wine and sipping it slowly throughout dinner helps me savor my meal even more. (Plus it has health benefits!) And of course, part of what makes mealtimes stressful is figuring out what to eat! For easy, quick ideas, search Self.com's database of fast, healthy recipes, then roll up your sleeves and hit the kitchen.

"When you've had a bad day, cooking can have a calming effect," says psychologist Mark R. Vogel, who also studied at the Institute of Culinary Education in New York City. Whether you're peeling or pureeing, the repetitive motion relaxes your nerves. Don't I know it; baking my signature meringues almost puts me into a trancelike state! (Or maybe it's a sugar coma.)

Try this easy recipe:
In a bowl, whip 6 egg whites and 2 cups sugar, then add in a bag of chocolate chips. Cover a cookie sheet with brown paper (you can cut up a bag) and drop spoonfuls of the mixture onto the sheet; they should be the size of a regular cookie. Bake for 40 minutes at 275 degrees, then turn off the heat and let them cool in the oven. Dig in!

P.S. Susah gak nk kurus semula ni tauuuuu......

TIPS FOR US-NESS 9

A Dozen Ways to Get to Know Your Real Partner
The Signs Are All Around You...


In my line of work -- family law -- I often hear the same old refrain when my client explains to me why they split from their significant other. It goes like this, "I guess I didn't really know my partner after all." You might ask, "How could that be?" How could you have an intimate relationship with someone only to wake up one day to find out that the person you fell in love with is not the person they turned out to be?

I believe there are at least a dozen ways to know who someone really is -- indicators -- and if we do an inventory early on, we might stand a better chance of getting to know the real person before we fully commit. The following "observance" suggestions are important ones to make in the early stages of any relationship because each offers insight into habits, patterns, and behaviors. As you ponder these observations, know that there is no right or wrong; it's a matter of acceptance. Sometimes we have to accept quirks and differences as part of the give-and-take process. As you do your assessment, however, the goal is to decide whether or not you can live with or without your real partner.

Here are the dozen indicators:

1. Protocol: First or Second? Whether it's walking through a door, ordering dinner, or taking a bite out of the freshly baked cookies you have made together, if your partner always have to go first this could indicate self- centeredness. Are you willing to always be the giver?

2. Politics: Liberal or Conservative? How your partner views what is right or wrong in a political sense tells you a lot about his deep inner beliefs about society, and ultimately, the way he will approach your relationship issues. Will his views cause a rift in your relationship?

3. Television: Sitcoms or News? If his tendency is to watch "escape" TV programs versus "newsy/event" oriented ones, you can learn a lot about one's intellect. Do you want a mate who can keep up with your every day interest in what is going on in the world or a person you can run away with to avoid the world we live in?

4. Money: Flash or Stash? If your partner throws money around while dating, he might well be reckless with your joint finances when you move in together. Do you want to hook up with a tightwad or splurger?

5. Stress: Freak or Peak? Under Pressure, does he go to pieces or rise to the top of his game? If the answer is the former, every minor incident in your relationship might become a crisis. Do you like a lot of drama?

6. Conversation: About You or Him? As you first get to know each other does he always talk about himself first or you? If he is usually the topic priority do not expect that to change. Can you subordinate yourself to the world revolving around him?

7. Pets: Warm or Aloof? Believe it or not, the way in which he treats animals will not be dissimilar to how he treats your children. How do you want him to treat your loved ones?

8. Communication: Listens or Ignores? If you have something you want to talk about and he tunes you out as a general rule, can you cope?

9. Strangers: Kind or Rude? How he treats those they do not know (waiters, grocery clerks) often reflects on how he will treat people in general, including you, shortly after the glow wears off.

10. Priorities: Family or Work? You can tell almost immediately where a person's preferences lie in terms of what comes first (a family member's illness or a business trip) by the choices he makes when faced with an "either/or" situation. Do you care if he leaves on the next plane to present the such-and-such report if you or the kids have pneumonia?

11. Appearance: Fat or Fit? How he regards his appearance screams loudly about his sense of self-esteem. Those who eat sensibly, workout reasonably, and who take pride in their appearance are the ones who have a great sense of self. Does he really have self-confidence or might it be a front?

12. Faith: Strong or Weak? If you want a peak at his soul, learn more about his spirituality, or lack of it. What a person believes deep down is often what shapes the way in which they conduct their day-to-day affairs. What is your mate's "words to live by?"

(Adapted from Yahoo! Personals by Stacy D. Phillips)

FEATURE STORY 9

Can you tell if you're being played out?

Well, being 34 actually gives me the opportunity to say that YES, I do know, or I can sense when someone is trying to play me out.

Life is too short to hassle our minds with this thought but sometimes you are not served with your favourite dishes and because you are hungry, you just grab whatever there are on the table. So, this is when you have a mind boggling situation.

I sometimes wonder why is it so difficult for people to be honest. I believe that honesty is the best policy no matter what. I have been put in an explicating situation before and lying made it worst. When you start lying once, you impregnate more lies to come. And when these lies grow, they grow so fast, you just cannot stop them. They are more dangerous than cancer cells.

What triggered me to write about how much I value honesty. I want the truth and nothing else b ut the truth. I always tell my son, be truthful. Don't lie. No matter how bad the truth is, I can bear it. Don't worry. I don't only say this to my son, but I also say it to my students.

FEEDER ENTRY 4

David Vs. David

Thank God! David A., as he signed himself, is in the finals of American Idol Season 7. Phewwww... I was so afraid that he wouldn't be in the top 2. So many voices around me were saying that Syesha and David C. would be at next week's final. Adding salt to the wound, was what I heard on Mix.FM, where Pietro and Ika said they wanted David C. and Syesha to be in the finals and then Cook would come out as the new American Idol. Duhhhh...

I was saying to myself. Don't you guys get it? Archuleta and Cook are the ones who'd be in the finals. And yesterday's result show has proven that. Now, I am at ease. What happens next I am not so concern about. Of course if you ask my sincere opinion I would say that Archuleta would be crowned as the next winner. But then again, to be logical about this, Cook is damn talented himself. He can sing, not just sing, but improvise the songs he sings. He can play instruments and he can compose. And of course he is the more "manly" choice.

Archuleta on the other hand is cute, cuddly, sweet, and very boyish. One would easily say, awwww he's such a baby... Nevertheless, he sings beautifully well, he is also very talented and is able to play musical instruments, too. The only factor that he may win over Cook is the fact that he's so charmingly sweet. Every woman who is a mother will always vote for a person like Archuleta. Yeaaaa, and that's why I like him too.

Anyway, 22 May is going to be the day for these two Davids. Quoting from Yahoo! that definitely the next American Idol is David. The question now is which David?

FEEDER ENTRY 3

Short Interesting Picks

1) My good friend went out for dinner with some other friends from the office last night. Amongst them were our boss and a new female lecturer (she seemed to be the only rose around). So, the best part about the dinner according to my friend was that the boss ACTUALLY paid for it (knowing how stingy some people can get). But the better than best part was the "drama" between our boss and the new female lecturer. And, today he bought a ping pong table for the school with no net nor bats or balls! What do you think he wants to do with or rather on the ping pong table? Pssstttt...are you having the same kinky thing on mind or am I just the only one?!? And making a sensational add on, a white NZ friend of ours who was at the dinner yesterday that he thought she was talking like a "child". Isn't that what men like? Soft, child-like, whiny women?

2) I or rather my husband striked the 4d yesterday. He bought RM 3 from Magnum4d and another RM 3 from black market via me, his loyal submissive wife (did I just write that?!?). Anyway, from this we are supposed to get RM 3K. WOWWWWWWW!!! That's cool, huh? But the best part of this winning is that the person or agent for the black market one called me up just before we knew we striked that he forgot to buy the number for me. WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???????? And........the better than best part of it was what he said afterwards. "Even I forgot to buy for you, haaa...If you strike arrrr, I will still pay you oso..." And I thought, wow isn't this interesting? He would still pay even he has forgotten to buy for me. Out of responsibility. So, I started wishing that the number 5637 will strike the 1st prize. It didn't of course, but it striked 3RD PRIZE... Woooooooooooo... I called him up and said... How ar? Now you owe me RM 1500... And he will pay me next Friday - 23 May 2008.

3) I added some "cool" elements on my blog today and I am damn excited about it. Well, I was inspired by a friend (Izuan to be specific). Okay, okay...not inspired but more of jealousy. How can he have stuff (of course not as cool as mine) on his blog and I don't? Tak boleh jadi ni... So, I spent more than half the day at work improving on my blog so as to "compete" with Izuan. Hehehe, how dumb. Now, I am having a blonde moment. But anyway, check out the stuff I have in store for you here on your right hand side. Comments are welcome though (unlike the blog Dari Kacamata Mohd Ali Rustam...oopppssss! did I do it again? Saying the not-so-right thing in public? Sorrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy...).

4) While I am writing this entry, my cellphone rang and it was my son on the line. He asked for my permission to go out with his friend, Imran, to his horseback riding session. Last week when he came back from the same outing, he told me that it was quite cheap, Ummi, to ride a horse. Then I said, how much? He replied, only RM 50 for half an hour. You must be kidding me, I screamed! So, how long does Imran usually ride? Well, only 2 hours, Ummi, he added innocently. I can't blame him, though. He is surrounded by rich friends. And, the fact that he is too naive to value money. Anyway, to cut a longer story long, I told him that it is OK to make friends with the rich but don't act rich yourself. I understand that he wants to be a successful business lawyer one day. Therefore, he needs all the contacts. So, son, go on. Make friends with the rich. You can build contact. You can gain experience. You can see what their lifestyle is. But do not ever act rich yourself, because you are not. (I hope I said the right thing to him). Have fun, Along!

LEARN A WORD A DAY 7

lacuna \luh-KYOO-nuh\, noun;plural lacunae \luh-KYOO-nee\ or lacunas::
1. A blank space; a missing part; a gap.
2. (Biology) A small opening, depression, or cavity in an anatomical structure.

Like most other writers of his generation, he was a profoundly apolitical being, not from any lacuna in his education but as a matter of principle.-- Walter Laqueur, "The Artist in Politics", New York Times, May 15, 1983

Between the time of my first memory . . . and my second and third memories, I remember nothing. The lacunae of these years I've been able to fill sketchily from the entries in my baby book, which notes such incidents as my first smile.-- Jaime Manrique, Eminent Maricones

The exodus of wives, relatives, friends and hangers-on had left a big howlinglacuna which wrapped the homestead in webs of glorious nostalgia.-- Moses Isegawa, Abyssinian Chronicles

Lacuna is from the Latin lacuna, "a cavity, a hollow," from lacus, "a hollow."

LEARN A WORD A DAY 6

umbrage \UHM-brij\, noun:
1. Shade; shadow; hence, something that affords a shade, as a screen of trees or foliage.
2. a. A vague or indistinct indication or suggestion; a hint.
3. b. Reason for doubt; suspicion.
4. Suspicion of injury or wrong; offense; resentment.

Burr finally took umbrage, and challenged him to a duel.-- Richard A. Samuelson, "Alexander Hamilton: American", Commentary, June 1999

In almost all the walks of his life, he appears to have been both astoundingly rude and genuinely astonished that anyone should take umbrage.-- Robert Winder, "A dying game", New Statesman, June 19, 2000

He had a devastating smile, which could wipe away the slightest umbrage.-- Alec Guinness, A Positively Final Appearance

The river tumbling green and white, far below me; the dark high banks, the plentiful umbrage, many bronze cedars, in shadow; and tempering and arching all the immense materiality, a clear sky overhead, with a few white clouds, limpid, spiritual, silent.-- Walt Whitman, Specimen Days & Collect

WHAT SAYS THE TABIB? 6

Cholesterol: The top 5 foods to lower your numbers

Diet can play an important role in lowering your cholesterol. Discover five foods that can lower your cholesterol and protect your heart.

Can a bowl of oatmeal help prevent a heart attack? How about a handful of walnuts, or even your baked potato topped with some heart-healthy margarine? A few simple tweaks to your diet — like these — may be enough to lower your cholesterol to a healthy level and help you stay off medications.

Oatmeal and oat bran
Oatmeal contains soluble fiber, which reduces your low-density lipoprotein (LDL), the "bad" cholesterol. Soluble fiber is also found in such foods as kidney beans, apples, pears, psyllium, barley and prunes.

Soluble fiber appears to reduce the absorption of cholesterol in your intestines. Ten grams or more of soluble fiber a day decreases your total and LDL cholesterol. Eating 1 1/2 cups of cooked oatmeal provides 6 grams of fiber. If you add fruit, such as bananas, you'll add about 4 more grams of fiber. To mix it up a little, try steel-cut oatmeal or cold cereal made with oatmeal or oat bran.

Walnuts, almonds and more
Studies have shown that walnuts can significantly reduce blood cholesterol. Rich in polyunsaturated fatty acids, walnuts also help keep blood vessels healthy and elastic. Almonds appear to have a similar effect, resulting in a marked improvement within just four weeks.
A cholesterol-lowering diet in which 20 percent of the calories come from walnuts may reduce LDL cholesterol by as much as 12 percent. But all nuts are high in calories, so a handful (no more than 2 ounces or 57 grams) will do. As with any food, eating too much can cause weight gain, and being overweight places you at higher risk of heart disease. To avoid gaining weight, replace foods high in saturated fat with nuts. For example, instead of using cheese, meat or croutons in your salad, add a handful of walnuts or almonds.

Fish and omega-3 fatty acids
Research has supported the cholesterol-lowering benefits of eating fatty fish because of its high levels of omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3 fatty acids also help the heart in other ways such as reducing blood pressure and the risk of blood clots. In people who have already had heart attacks, fish oil — or omega-3 fatty acids — significantly reduces the risk of sudden death.
Doctors recommend eating at least two servings of fish a week. The highest levels of omega-3 fatty acids are in mackerel, lake trout, herring, sardines, albacore tuna and salmon. However, to maintain the heart-healthy benefits of fish, bake or grill it. If you don't like fish, you can also get omega-3 fatty acids from foods like ground flaxseed or canola oil.

You can take an omega-3 or fish oil supplement to get some of the beneficial effects, but you won't get all the other nutrients in fish, like selenium. If you decide to take a supplement, just remember to watch your diet and eat lean meat or vegetables in place of fish.

Olive oil
Olive oil contains a potent mix of antioxidants that can lower your "bad" (LDL) cholesterol but leave your "good" (HDL) cholesterol untouched.

The Food and Drug Administration recommends using about 2 tablespoons (23 grams) of olive oil a day to get its heart-healthy benefits. To add olive oil to your diet, you can saute vegetables in it, add it to a marinade, or mix it with vinegar as a salad dressing. You can also use olive oil as a substitute for butter when basting meat.

Some research suggests that the cholesterol-lowering effects of olive oil are even greater if you choose extra-virgin olive oil, meaning the oil is less processed and contains more heart-healthy antioxidants. But avoid "light" olive oils. This label usually means the oil is more processed and lighter in color, not fat or calories.

Foods fortified with plant sterols or stanols
Foods are now available that have been fortified with sterols or stanols — substances found in plants that help block the absorption of cholesterol.

Margarines, orange juice and yogurt drinks fortified with plant sterols can help reduce LDL cholesterol by more than 10 percent. The amount of daily plant sterols needed for results is at least 2 grams — which equals about two 8-ounce (237 milliliters) servings of plant sterol-fortified orange juice a day.

Plant sterols or stanols in fortified foods don't appear to affect levels of triglycerides or of "good" high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol. Nor do they interfere with the absorption of the fat-soluble vitamins — vitamins A, D, E and K.

The American Heart Association recommends foods fortified with plant sterols for people with levels of LDL cholesterol over 160 milligrams per deciliter (4.1 mmol/L).

Consider your diet first
Before you make other changes to your diet, think about cutting back on the types and amounts of fats you eat, which can raise your cholesterol. That way, you'll improve your cholesterol levels and health overall.

When cutting fat from your diet, focus on saturated and trans fats. Saturated fats, like those in meat and some oils, raise your total cholesterol. Trans fats, which are sometimes used to make store-bought cookies, crackers and cakes, are particularly bad for your cholesterol levels because they raise low-density lipoprotein (LDL), the "bad" cholesterol and lower high-density lipoprotein (HDL), "good" cholesterol. You should try to limit the number of calories you eat daily to less than 10 percent from saturated fat, and eliminate as many trans fats from your diet as possible.

(From Mayoclinic.com)

TIPS FOR US-NESS 8

As I was browsing the net today, two things popped in my mind. First, was a question my friend asked me, about how I maintained a good relationship with my husband after nine years of marriage. And another is my dearest friend, Augustine, whom I believe, is currently not in a good relationship with his girl. Ermmm...so a good relationship, versus a not-so-good one. So, here, I adapted two articles, one from MarsVenus.com, a website by John Gray, PhD., on relationships between a man and a woman, and another from Parenthood.com (and edited by me). Before that, let me share today's interesting quote on the website:

Men tend to think money is the solution to all problems...

Article 1:


Why Mars and Venus Collide

The enduring message from John Gray is that men and women are indeed from different planets. This truth has not changed since the publication of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. In fact, the differences between the sexes have become more evident in today’s hectic, fast-paced world. Except now, the monster known as stress has become a main ingredient in our lives and it has successfully invaded our relationships. Enter John Gray’s newest book: Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress.

No More White Picket Fences
Once upon a time, there was a lifestyle where men went to work and women stayed home. In today’s society, you’re more likely to find the power couple. They both go to work (for longer than just 9 to 5) and they are overworked, underpaid, and overstressed. They both struggle to excel in the same status-hungry society and hectic, competitive, career-oriented environment. Couples come home to each other … and instead of being comforted by each other, a new set of problems begin. And most of these challenges can be chalked up to one main ingredient: stress.
Unprecedented levels of stress are taking their toll on romantic relationships. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or single and dating, we are often too busy or too tired to motivate ourselves to maintain feelings of attraction or show our affection. But instead of pointing the finger at your partner for this lacking element, the more accurate offender to charge is stress.

Text Me, Email Me, IM Me, But Don’t Talk to Me
In a society where the methods of communication are multiplying rapidly, you would think that communication between couples has improved. But, unfortunately, the quality of communication has been drastically reduced by the abbreviated methods of connection. Quick texting and messaging increase our opportunities for independence and success at work, but they do nothing for the feelings of isolation and exhaustion that can exist at home.

Daily stress affects men and women. Both sexes are drained of their energy and patience and, at the end of the day, are often too overwhelmed to support and enjoy each other. Under the influence of stress, men and women forget why they do what they do. To make things even more complicated, men and women respond to stress differently, cope with stress through conflicting methods, and need different kinds of support to relieve their stress.

This isn’t to say that every couple in every household is arguing and bickering and headed for an implosion; but stress, if people are not aware of it, can affect relationships in negative and not always obvious ways. Men and women sweep aside their needs in order to handle their everyday responsibilities. Things get done, but passion disappears and, instead of being the solution to our stress, relationships become yet another problem to solve. But the teachings outlined in Why Mars and Venus Collide can change all of this – it is actually within the safe haven of our relationship that we can find relief from our stress.

It’s All about You
Many couples believe that they must sacrifice themselves and their needs in order to please their partner. But this attitude needs to be adjusted. Yes, compromise is required of every relationship – but you don’t make these changes and give up on yourself in the process. The art is in finding fair and reasonable compromises. John Gray introduces new ways to make this happen in a life filled with stress.

Men have traditionally been the breadwinners and women traditionally the managers of the home and children. But there is increased pressure in today’s society for women to work outside the home and thus there is a diminished pressure on men to be the sole provider. Women are expected to do so much in addition to their traditional roles, which have never been tweaked or redistributed, while they now work full-time jobs. Women have a never-ending to do list and stress is at an all-time high. Men are dealing with their own levels of stress. As a result, relationships become filled with misunderstandings, friction, and a sense of helplessness.

Going Back to Mars and Venus
John Gray’s solutions for stress are based on groundbreaking scientific research that supports the gender differences he has long described in his books. There are physiological reasons why women find comfort in talking about their problems and why men prefer to retreat. There are reasons why women can multitask and remember everything while men are able to focus on one thing at a time.

In Why Mars and Venus Collide, John Gray examines how men and women behave in stressful situations and provides new insights into how our responses to stress cause the sexes to clash. Remembering and understanding the differences between men and women is only half of the battle.

The other half is about action and learning to find effective ways to cope with stress. John Gray provides these coping methods by outlining time-tested techniques. Whether you are in a relationship, single, or starting over, in Why Mars and Venus Collide you will find new, practical ways to improve your communication, energy, and mood. You will learn how to reignite the levels of attraction in your relationship, create harmony with your partner, and enjoy a lifetime of love and romance.

All that’s needed from you is a willingness to learn, improve, and tuck away any fear of change. Accepting that stress is the culprit to blame for your problems – instead of your partner – will allow you to conquer and rise above some of the trying moments in your relationship. Putting the onus on stress will free you from expecting your partner to change, help you actually lower your own stress levels, and allow you to remember the pleasure of loving and accepting your partner for who they truly are.

Article 2:

How to Keep A Marriage Strong?

Here are some tips from Dr. John Gottman’s research on successful marriages and elaboration by myself based on my 9-year marriage experience:

• Express more positives than negatives. In Gottman’s research, he found that those happily married showed a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative statements to each other and about their relationship. Even in Islam, we are taught to not have negative thoughts about our partners. These negativities can actually harm your happiness with your significant one. Worse, what you imagine could just come true. So, be careful with what you think. If you think you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Silence is Golden.

• Accept each other’s influence. In strong partnerships neither spouse is too rigid to consider the requests or input of his or her mate. Just as you think you are important, your partner thinks the same way, too. So, take time. Lend your ears. Hear out his/her views. You'd be surprised at how identical your wants are.

• Maintain high standards. Those who regularly accept disrespectful behavior from a partner are likely to see their relationship deteriorate over time. Don't be harsh, but it is OK for you to tell him/her that you are not happy with what and how your partner treats you. Anyway, you both have a right in the relationship. If she suddenly yell at you at a shopping mall after being unhappy with the dinner, and you are embarassed by that act, then TELL her. She HAS to know. If he commented on your bad choice of clothing in front of his parents, and you are so ashamed, then LET him know. Be direct, be open. Don't hold grudges and don't let your grudges grow.

• Learn how to exit an argument. This can include expressions of humor, compassion or appreciation; a time-out until cooler heads prevail; or even backing off from your position in the disagreement. Approaching a bad argument, it is allright if you choose to seal your lips. Refrain from triggering a wilder fire. If he chooses to grab the car keys and drive off, let him be. If she suddenly walks away and stir a drink in the kitchen, don't stop her. Believe me, it is better that way.

• Edit your angry thoughts. Just because it’s normal to feel anger doesn’t mean it’s useful to express all of it. Those rated as happier couples learned to manage angry thoughts and share them judiciously. Just like what you learned in Business Writing to allow "cooling period" for your complaint letter, allow the same concept to apply in your marriage. Think again whether it is worthwhile to say a few words that could destroy the bond you have built for maybe 9 years. "On second thoughts" is always a good thought. Remember, there is a Malay saying - telajak perahu boleh berundur, telajak kata jangan sekali, or makan boleh sebarang makan tapi cakap jangan sebarang cakap - which basically means that we should watch our words because once said, can never be taken back, and the scar will remain forever.


• Consider your opening. Pay attention to your tone and wording. Couples can avoid, soften or de-escalate differences through the manner in which they raise sensitive issues. Know your partner. Be sensitive of when is the right time to talk about it. Be more sensitive on how to say it. Pause on the idea. If you think it is NOT that urgent or important, and it won't affect your relationship, maybe you could just store it for much later or forever.

• Don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Gottman reports that the average couple waits six years before reaching out for help with a troubled marriage. The earlier a couple addresses problems the easier it is to make positive changes. I still recall my mother-in-law says to never keep an argument or a gruntle longer than 30 minutes because it will eat your relationship up. Yes, don't allow discomforts to accumulate because the dividends won't increase the way your shares do.

So, guys, YES, these are the ways I keep my marriage alive! Learn them up because they have to learned and not acquired.

ABOUT OUR KIDS 7

Naturopathy: Give the eye a break By : K.F. Hoe 2008/05/12

Q: MY son spends hours playing computer games during the weekends. I worried about the damage this would do as he is also short-sighted and wears glasses. Can you suggest some ways to improve his vision?

A: YOU have valid reasons to be concerned because sitting for long hours in front of a computer screen can lead to eye discomfort, fatigue and blurred vision.Taking a break from the computer every 20 minutes for 20 seconds will minimise the development of eye-focusing problems and irritation caused by infrequent blinking.Traditional herbs like bilberry, eyebright and lycium are good for the eyes. Bilberry improves capillary blood flow and increases the generation of enzymes responsible for energy production in eyes while eyebright helps relieve itchy and irritated eyes.Lycium is rich in carotenoids which is beneficial to the eye. A good eye supplement contains all the three herbs. A good supplement should also contain about 25 per cent of anthocyanidins, which is the active ingredient in bilberry.Eat plenty of fresh, raw, green leafy vegetables. Apricots, mangoes, carrots and yams are elixirs for the eyes.Consume foods or supplements that contain beta-carotene, vitamin A, C, E and mineral zinc and selenium to protect against the harmful effects of free radicals.

(From NST)

FEEDER ENTRY 2

Happy Birthday Along (11 May 2008) and Angah (6 May 2008)

Ummi and Waleed love you sooooo very much. You are the precious gems of our hearts. May you grow to become good humans and contribute significantly to Allah and Islam, the society, and Ummi and Waleed, inshaAllah...

And here's a poem for the both of you:

Along...Angah...
In my thoughts and
In my dreams and
Even in my real life
I love you so much more
So much than I can utter
So much than I can bare

Though sometimes it seems
That I don't really care
That I always scare
That you only hear my despair...
Deep in here, only He can see
How I truly couldn't guarantee
Without you two, can I be free

Along...Angah...
My hope goes along with you
My love remains surrounding you
My prayers persist to capture you
You are the reason
You are the excuse
That I overused to endure and survive

I love you...

FEATURE STORY 8

Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day Special

2 Most Sacrificial People in the World

Since Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day are just around the bend, I would like to share my humble view on the two MOST sacrificial people in the world – your world and mine.

I came back from lunch today with three missed calls on my cell phone. They were from my significant half. Ermm… I looked at the phone and wondered why he called so many times. Must be something urgent. Or he wouldn’t call me continuously like that. Not feeling too good about it, I immediately returned his call.

His line was breaking quite badly, and in between the breakings, I heard that our 2-month old nephew is now hospitalized at Selayang Hospital since last Wednesday, and no one told us about it.

I called my sister-in-law and her husband picked up the call instead, and informed me that their son was admitted due to his problem in breathing. I recalled that a week ago, on April 19, we went back to my husband’s hometown and at that time he was already having the problem. I was then thinking that it was quite normal since two of my own children have had it before. My sister-in-law said that the baby, Ashraff, was not able to burp every time after feeding. He would make some snorting sound and he looked like he was having difficulty in breathing. I told her to apply some Vicks on Ashraff’s chest, back and front, and maybe after that he might feel a little better.

At that moment, when I looked at my sis-in-law’s face, I was saying to myself that she is so strong. She was not showing any signs of worry. Nor was there any sign of unhappiness. Wow…I said to myself, I could never do that. I am easily panicked. Easily alarmed by any “abnormalities” on any of my children.

I still remembered when my third child, Achik, went into fits due to very high fever some time last year. I was getting ready to go back to office after coming home to give her the medications. But she was asleep. So, I told bibik that her medications were due the moment she got up. Then, just a few minutes before I left, I peeped into bibik’s room to check on her, when I saw her legs stiffing and moving uncontrollably. I sensed something was wrong and ran into the room. I couldn’t bear the sight that something was wrong with my daughter. I straight away grabbed her in my arms and took the car keys (without even putting on my tudung) and headed directly (even dangerously driving with only one hand while the other was holding my daughter) to the nearest hospital.

Parents, especially mothers, are as such. Always wanting the best for their children. Often easily shaken by their children’s illnesses. Never ever stop hoping, wishing and praying for their children’s well-being. No matter how much the world has changed, how high the ocean tide has risen, how bad the cyclone hit Myannmar, parents’, specifically a mother’s love, affection and care will NEVER EVER be altered.

And that’s the true beauty of parents. They are always there for us no matter what. Their love is unconditional. Their love has no boundaries. Their love knows no end. So, for these two most sacrificial beings in our life, let us all wish them (and ourselves, too) a very meaningful Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day and may God bless them with all the goodness for everything that they have done or given us.

Thank You, Ma and Pa. Thank You, Mak and Abah. We love you from the deepest of our hearts. Subhanallah.

FEATURE STORY 7

The Trip Was Worth It

Phewwww...today is such a tiring day. Why? Because this is the first day I resumed work after a week off from it. We need breaks once in a while but when we take breaks, this is what happens. Lazy to continue working. Hahaha.

I came back from my holiday trip to Jakarta-Punchak-Bandung on Friday, 2 May 2008. We landed at LCCT at approximately 5.51 PM and at that time, I sensed a popping sound in my right ear. I figured it was due to the pressure and difference in altitude when the plane was about to land. But heck! I thought. It will subside later. I now have to worry about getting the baggage and making sure they all arrived KL safely.

We had a hell of a time in Bandung and Jakarta. The drive up to Punchak was looooooooong and when we finally reached Punchak, there wasn't much to see. Just a point about 4706m from sea level and the weather felt cold. But it was much colder than Genting or even Cameron Highland and people there, too, plant tea for a living. And the lunch (the first Indonesian meal after a very quick Malaysian breakfast and we were starving like a horse) was disappointing. We were brought by the guide to a Sundanese restaurant and the food was plain. As I could remember, we had rice (of course! what else do Indonesians eat?!?), fried fish, rujak, three different types of uncooked sambal, mie goreng, and sate ayam and kambing. My mother-in-law was the most surprised one. She took a while gazing into the food served and then asked me what type of food were we eating that afternoon. I said, "makanan Sunda, mak. Orang Sunda ni mkn pelik sikit. Nasi campur mee. Dah la tu tak berkuah lak tu." Having no other choices, we ate through because we didn't want to fall sick later. But the closing of the meal was a cup of cappuccino, which I deemed was the best (among the worst lunch ever, of course).

From there, we took another three hours before we reached Bandung. All of us were so eager to get to Bandung since we haven't had enough sleep the night before, took a very early flight, reached Jakarta and straight away head for Punchak and Bandung. When we were approaching the city of Bandung, the guide told us that it was also known as Paris van Java (meaning Paris at Java). I was expecting to see Eiffel Tower or romance here and there, but none of that were there. It is named Paris because of the location and the fashion shopping we could get there. Our first stop was Heritage, a shopping centre situated on Jalan Riau. We were supposed to go to Dago but the guide (by the way, her name is Kiki) said we should go to Jalan Riau first as Dago closed at 9 PM. I liked it at Heritage because the goods sold there were at very reasonable price and they looked good, too. I bought some clothes for my son, my daughters and my husband. We spent about Rp. 639.600 for everything. Darn cheap, I told my husband.

After that, Kiki brought us to Cihampelas, the Jeans Street as they called it. Here, you could find all sorts of jeans at very good prices and of good quality, too. We didn't have that much time, plus being so fatigue since we haven't rested and haven't checked in the hotel yet. So, we only walked past a few shops and entered the next one we saw which was somewhat opposite the place where our van was parked. There, I chose one pair of Burberry jeans for my dad, and two pairs of jeans, which was a pair of BMW jeans and another a Burberry, for my husband. I bought myself two pairs of t-shirt, one pair of jacket for my son, and all these cost me Rp. 669.000. We then headed straight back to the van and told the guide that we wanted to go to the hotel.

We were brought to Hotel Cemerlang, a 3-star hotel, and we checked in there. We reached the hotel about 6pm and we were told that we were to meet downstairs again at 7pm which was just an hour away. Well, I didn't have enough time to rest. What I managed to do was to bathe my children, took my bath, and unpacked important items.

At 7pm, Kiki and Pak Dayat, the supir (driver) waited for us at the hotel lobby to take us all out for dinner. We went to a Padang restaurant and had a much better dinner than what we had earlier in the day. After that dinner, Kiki took us to Jalan Dago for another round of shopping but we refused. We all requested to get back to the hotel as we were feeling so tired and sleepy from all the activities we did that day. Now, after coming back to KL, I regretted not fighting my tiredness and went on shopping at Dago because from the view of it that we got from the van's windows, Dago has tremendous to offer us, especially my kids.

The next day started as early as 9am. We checked out the hotel (wow, such a short stay!) and taken straight to Pasar Baru Bandung. There was a demonstration when we arrived and being such a paranoia, I asked Kiki whether it was safe for us to continue shopping there. Hahaha, as expected, Kiki said "tentu sekali, buk. Nggak apa2 kok. Ini fenomena biasa di Indonesia." (Ermmm, they are more expressive than we would ever be, huh?) Anyway, we were given 2 hours to shop there. I bought some "jilbab", my mom's jacket suit, and my daughters' clothes. My mom-in-law enjoyed the shopping there, I believe. She bought some jubahs, shirts for all the men in her life, and blouses for the daughters-in-law (except me because I refused as I believe she should spend her money on stuff she wished to get for herself rather than for me...no no no...I am NOT proud, ok) and we waited like ages for her (sorry, mak...but you spent too much time choosing and browsing...as a matter of fact, many women do, I guessed. But NOT me. I am simple. I look. I like. I buy...untung husband I, kan? Hehehe). Farah also had a good buy there.

We then headed for Cibaduyut next. Kiki said that this was a great place for leather goods. Well, the point is, we were dropped off at a small mall with not that many choices. None of us felt like walking around the area for more choices. So, we just bought whatever was available there. I ended up spending almost Rp. 700.000 for a handbag, a purse, my son's school bag, his shoes, and my daughters' shoes.

From here, we were driven back to Jakarta. It was not such a winding journey as when we were heading for Bandung. This time, the driver took the highway instead. So, we were promised a mere 2-hour journey. Approaching Jakarta city, it rained very heavily and as usual, rain = jam. We were stucked for a solid two and a half hours before we stopped at Salero Jumbo for dinner. The plan was to check in to the hotel first but at the last minute things changed because of the stupid jam. Anyway, the dinner was different from what we had because though it was a Padang restaurant but we specially requested for a seafood meal. Yes, we expected prawns and squids but their definition of seafood only meant fish, dried prawns and anchovies. Haha. Served us right!

We stayed at Orchardz Hotel in Jakarta. It was a nice, decent hotel and I am very happy with it. The next day, we were brought to Tanah Abang for further shopping (I believe people like my mom-in-law and cousin really couldn't get enough of this activity). I was told by Aunty Mas that it is not a nice place. But it was really beyond my expectation. I liked Tanah Abang much, much better than Mangga Dua. It is more organized, cooler, and easier to shop and move around in this place. It has all that crossed your mind. I bought so many tudungs here for my mom. They have all the new designs and I paid Rp. 585.000 for all of them. Damn, damn cheap! I think my mom is going to be very happy with what I have chosen for her.

That afternoon, we had the BEST lunch (numero uno!!!) for the whole trip. It was a place called Riung Sari Sunda Restaurant and it is owned by an actor named Titi Kamal. The ambience was great and it complimented the food served. It was a total 360 degrees turn from the Sunda food we had at Punchak on the first day we arrived. If this is what REAL Sundanese food is, then it give two thumbs up! I simply love the Sop Ikan Gurame. Marvellously cooked! I couldn't forget the wonderful taste even until today. I asked Kiki why we were taken for lunch there only that day. We should have come for all our Jakarta meals there. I am definitely going to repeat this restaurant the next trip I make to Jakarta.

After the most fulfilling lunch in the world, we went to Ancol. It is a well-known theme park in Indonesia. People who visit Jakarta would have this place on their itinerary. To tell you the truth, I had a very low expectation of this place. I had been to a few fantastic theme parks in the world like Disneyland, Disney World, Universal Studios, Knott's Berry Farm, Tampa Beach Park, and not to miss Sunway Lagoon in my own home country. But Ancol was way, way better than what I had in mind. It was a very large area. It had all sorts of things in there, including an interesting looking hotel (and my husband specifically mentioned that we should stay there for the next trip). We went on what they termed as Gondola, which is very much similar to our Cable Car at Genting Highlands, and this thing took us for a ride all around Ancol. We could view the whole theme park from above.

The next few hours, we spent inside what they called as Dufan, which is short for Dunia Fantasi. This was when my entire view about Ancol changed. I could conclude that Dufan is wayyyyyyyy cleaner and more systematic than Sunway Lagoon. The scenario inside Dufan reminded me of the days when I visited all the theme parks in the US. I was actually glad that we made that trip there. One most important thing is that my children enjoyed themselves there and they had fun. The only person who did not have so much fun as my kids did was my mom-in-law. She figured the trip to Ancol was the most taxing one.

That night was our last night in Jakarta and we were soooooooooo busy packing things we brought from KL and things we bought throughout our trip to Jakarta and Bandung. I should say that it was extremely challenging for me as I did the packing all by myself. It was so difficult to ensure that I had everything packed up nicely and most importantly, to hide some things from the Malaysian customs' eyes, and also not to exceed the permitted weight by Airasia.

On 2 May 2008, at 9am, we checked out from the hotel and headed to Mangga Dua for last minute shopping (only my mom-in-law and Farah bought something there. By then, I was done with my shopping. Only had Rp. 170.000 left in my purse for eating at the airport while waiting for the plane to depart Indonesia at 2.50pm). By 11.40 am we reached the Soekarno-Hatta International Airport. We had our last Indonesian lunch at the airport's A&W and boarded the aircraft at 2. 40pm. It was such a quick, smooth 2-hour flight on Airasia AK 955 (the best Airasia flight I had) and finally landed at LCCT Terminal at 5.40pm.

It was indeed a worthwhile trip. Alhamdulillah.

FEATURE STORY 6

Is beauty only skin deep? And does it only lie in the eyes of the beholder?

There is no one woman in the world who does not want to look great and beautiful. But of course, beauty has a different definition from one person to another. In fact, it is a totally subjective issue and nobody has the most correct answer to it.

For a native African man, Scarlet Ortiz or better known as Maria Clara of NTV7’s Secreto De Amor, is ugly and unappealing because their definition of beauty is black-skinned, hard, curly hair with only a small piece of cloth covering the below private part. If you ask a Malaysian man, he might say that she is drop dead gorgeous, someone he might be dreaming of in his sleep every night. But try asking another Latino man. You might be surprised at his reply. He might just say that she is OK-looking, simply because women around him are all “Maria Clara” look-alikes.

When we talk about beauty, there is so much to touch on. Too wide a topic to be discussed in just a few lines. Too many things to cover – from head to toe. But it never failed to inspire women all over the world whenever the topic is brought up, be it at the workplace, at home and even during casual chats over a cup of coffee.

Some may consider Normala Samsudin as the most beautiful woman in Malaysia. Why? Because after three kids and approaching 40 years of age, she still looks as stunning as 20-year olds. Or maybe you’d prefer Aida Radzwill (formerly known as Aida Rahim), who is gorgeous and sexy at 40 +? And moreover, she married a much younger man! Anita Sarawak may also be on your list. At 50+, I think she looks superb! Ever wondered whether we would look like that (or maybe a little like that) when we reached 50? Well, I believe the answers are all in our hands. How we shape our lives today, will influence how we look tomorrow.

So, for this issue, I want to bring you into the most talked about beauty scenario – the Botox injection. It has been going around rapidly I could see. Whenever someone looks good, say after many childbirths or after a certain age, people will associate them with Botox. What is it actually? Is it bad to do it? Is it immoral? Is it against the religion? These questions kept playing in mind. I even thought of having one after I read about Kris Dayanti, the beautiful Indonesian singer-actress who did it and was not ashamed to admit it. What does it do really?

Botox is hailed as the fountain of youth in a syringe, as I quoted from The Star dated April 7, 2004. It works best especially in smaller, thinner muscles, such as those around the eyes, on crow’s feet or vertical lines between the eyebrows rather than on the wrinkles around the mouth, chin or neck. But, not everyone can go through this procedure successfully.

It is just like slimming pills in the market. For example, I might tell you that you should try taking the traditional capsules which contained traditional herbs to slim you down because it worked on me. Then, you gave it a go. And it didn’t work on you. It is different for each individual. The reaction is dissimilar. Same goes with this Botox injection. It was perfect for Kris Dayanti but it might just be the opposite for you and me.

For your basic information, you should not even dream of having Botox done if you are pregnant or breast feeding. You also could not have it if you are currently taking medications like calcium channel blockers which are used to treat high blood pressure. Please make sure that it is 100% safe for you and your future. The only side effect it should have on you is making you look younger, better and more beautiful than before. So, if it is the reverse that happened, then you should just forget about it or not even consider it in the first place!

Another important factor that you have to remember is to have it done with a qualified professional. Meaning, you should go to a plastic surgeon or the dermatologist, as they can determine whether the procedure is safe for you. Never ever put the word “cheap” anywhere near when considering whether or not to have Botox. This will lead you to just settle with a spa-like facility or storefront salon where the injection will be given by a non-professional like an aesthetician or a cosmetologist. You must also keep in your diary that the injection has to be repeated every three to six months to maintain the youthful results.

How does it sound so far? Are you already half way in deciding to have Botox some time after this month’s pay check? Whatever your decision is, just ensure that it is truly what you want. After all, trying something once would not hurt so badly. The one due in the next three months should just pass you by, then. Appearing perfect for 3 months would be inexplicable. Outstanding the crowd for just 3 months would give a tremendous boost to your self esteem.

I wonder how I would look like after Botox. I wonder what are the obvious changes it will bring. I wonder how it would affect me emotionally. I wonder whether it really is a short cut to a more youthful and beautiful me. Keep wondering because it keeps your mind working. So Botox, are we meant to be? And is it true after all that beauty is only skin deep? Does it only lie in the eyes of its beholder?

LITERARY APPRECIATION 3

A Poem for My Baby - Yusri bin Yahya

Dearest Baby, I hope that this birthday will bring a better life for you and me.
Happy 37th birthday, darling!!! (3 May 2008)

How Much Do I Love Thee?

by Elizabeth Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,
--I love thee with the breath,Smiles, tears, of all my life!
--and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

TIPS FOR US-NESS 7

Sexy Turn Ons

Want to know other ways to turn on your partner? Try out one or all of these:

1. Appear around the house semi-naked like when setting the dinner table with only an apron on.
2. Run your hands gently down your partner’s spines, and slowly kiss it up.
3. Gentle smooches on her breasts and on her inner thighs.
4. Give gentle and soft bites on his or her bottom.
5. Run your lips all around his or her body.
6. Walk slowly from behind and grab him/ her and whisper slowly into the ears words of love, then kiss the neck softly.
7. Bite on his/her ears gently
8. Kissing gently on the tummy while licking softly on the belly button.
9. Brush your breasts slowly on his body.
10. Phone sex or send sexy SMS to your partner once in a while.

Don’t forget to try them out! Good luck!

FUN TIME!

The Pickle Slicer

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?”

“Ohhh, she got fired too!”

ABOUT OUR KIDS 6

Seven Common Discipline Mistakes Parents Make--And How to Avoid Them

Discipline is not a happy word. But without it kids grow up acting like savages. Tamara Eberlein shares seven common discipline pitfalls and what to do about them:

1. Losing your temper. When parents lose their cool and blow up, kids know it. Danny, eight, hit his four-year-old sister, Sally. Sally screams and Mother comes running. She yells, "You know better than to hit your sister!" She grabs Danny by the arm and pushes him down in a chair. Danny has learned that the way to get attention is to yell. When you habitually yell, your children will soon be yelling back at you.

A better way: Stop the violence. Take both of his hands in yours. Look him straight in the eye and, with a prayer in your heart, firmly say: "You know that we do not allow hitting. Violence is wrong. It makes God feel bad. I am disappointed in you! Do you understand? There will be consequences. You will sit in this chair for 20 minutes and think about your behavior. Then you will go to your room and write a one-page letter to me telling why hitting is not allowed." To manifest passion toward an erring child is to increase the evil. It arouses the worst passions of the child and leads him to feel that you do not care for him.

2. Parents disagree on rules. Sometimes parents disagree on rules. But they must always present a united front. Children are masters at the game of "divide and conquer." Together, set guidelines for your children's homework, chores, bedtime, plus prohibitions against hitting, stealing, and lying. One parent should not be responsible for all discipline. And, of course, never contradict your spouse's orders.

3. Don't treat kids like little adults. We should listen to our children and respect them but do not run your home like a democracy. Raymond, age 6, grabs a video from the shelf at the super market: "Please Mom, I want this video!" "No, Raymond, it's too violent." "But Mom, all the kids at school watch it." It is not necessary to explain all the reasons. "Because, I said so." should be sufficient.

As kids get older, take time to explain and ask for their input, but never compromise your principles.

4. Don't bribe or misuse rewards. "If you two will stop fussing, I will give you a special treat for dinner tonight." This strategy may work for a time, but sooner or later they will start misbehaving to get prizes. A bribe is the wrong way to motivate children. The best rewards are intrinsic--the good feeling that comes from doing right. "It feels good to do something for someone, doesn't it, Larry?" When we do right God rewards us with a sense of peace and joy.

5. Praising too much or too little. Affirmation is a powerful strategy for building self-worth. But if we praise too much, the child will feel let down when he doesn't receive it. Children can become "praise-junkies." "Wow, this report card is great! You are such a smart boy!" To label a child as "smart" is flattery. Give affirmation for positive behavior. "Tommy, I am so proud of the way you helped clean the kitchen. Thank you!" Children will repeat behavior that brings appreciation.

6. Inconsistent discipline. Karen, age 5, was lying on the sofa, sobbing. "Why are you crying, Karen?" "Cause, last time I used a bad word you laughed at me. Now, you take away my dolly." If you are erratic or inconsistent in your discipline they will catch you every time. If they get a laugh one time and punishment the next, they will become confused.

Mother knelt by Karen. "Honey, I'm sorry. Mother was not consistent in her rules. I will try to do better next time." Karen responded with a big hug.

7. Avoid inappropriate punishment. The purpose of discipline is to teach, not to punish. The punishment should be a natural and logical consequence of the misbehavior. Example: When a child abuses television, the logical consequence would be to take away television privileges. If a child refuses to come to meals when he is called, a natural consequence would be cold food or no food. When a teenage boy comes in after his curfew on Friday night, a logical consequence would be to ground him on Saturday night. But to ground him for two weeks would be inappropriate. Children know intuitively what is fair and right.

Adapted from Tamara Eberlein, Redbook, June 1993.

ABOUT OUR KIDS 5

Seven Common Discipline Mistakes Parents Make--And How to Avoid Them

Discipline is not a happy word. But without it kids grow up acting like savages. Tamara Eberlein shares seven common discipline pitfalls and what to do about them:

1. Losing your temper. When parents lose their cool and blow up, kids know it. Danny, eight, hit his four-year-old sister, Sally. Sally screams and Mother comes running. She yells, "You know better than to hit your sister!" She grabs Danny by the arm and pushes him down in a chair. Danny has learned that the way to get attention is to yell. When you habitually yell, your children will soon be yelling back at you.

A better way: Stop the violence. Take both of his hands in yours. Look him straight in the eye and, with a prayer in your heart, firmly say: "You know that we do not allow hitting. Violence is wrong. It makes God feel bad. I am disappointed in you! Do you understand? There will be consequences. You will sit in this chair for 20 minutes and think about your behavior. Then you will go to your room and write a one-page letter to me telling why hitting is not allowed." To manifest passion toward an erring child is to increase the evil. It arouses the worst passions of the child and leads him to feel that you do not care for him.

2. Parents disagree on rules. Sometimes parents disagree on rules. But they must always present a united front. Children are masters at the game of "divide and conquer." Together, set guidelines for your children's homework, chores, bedtime, plus prohibitions against hitting, stealing, and lying. One parent should not be responsible for all discipline. And, of course, never contradict your spouse's orders.

3. Don't treat kids like little adults. We should listen to our children and respect them but do not run your home like a democracy. Raymond, age 6, grabs a video from the shelf at the super market: "Please Mom, I want this video!" "No, Raymond, it's too violent." "But Mom, all the kids at school watch it." It is not necessary to explain all the reasons. "Because, I said so." should be sufficient.

As kids get older, take time to explain and ask for their input, but never compromise your principles.

4. Don't bribe or misuse rewards. "If you two will stop fussing, I will give you a special treat for dinner tonight." This strategy may work for a time, but sooner or later they will start misbehaving to get prizes. A bribe is the wrong way to motivate children. The best rewards are intrinsic--the good feeling that comes from doing right. "It feels good to do something for someone, doesn't it, Larry?" When we do right God rewards us with a sense of peace and joy.

5. Praising too much or too little. Affirmation is a powerful strategy for building self-worth. But if we praise too much, the child will feel let down when he doesn't receive it. Children can become "praise-junkies." "Wow, this report card is great! You are such a smart boy!" To label a child as "smart" is flattery. Give affirmation for positive behavior. "Tommy, I am so proud of the way you helped clean the kitchen. Thank you!" Children will repeat behavior that brings appreciation.

6. Inconsistent discipline. Karen, age 5, was lying on the sofa, sobbing. "Why are you crying, Karen?" "Cause, last time I used a bad word you laughed at me. Now, you take away my dolly." If you are erratic or inconsistent in your discipline they will catch you every time. If they get a laugh one time and punishment the next, they will become confused.

Mother knelt by Karen. "Honey, I'm sorry. Mother was not consistent in her rules. I will try to do better next time." Karen responded with a big hug.

7. Avoid inappropriate punishment. The purpose of discipline is to teach, not to punish. The punishment should be a natural and logical consequence of the misbehavior. Example: When a child abuses television, the logical consequence would be to take away television privileges. If a child refuses to come to meals when he is called, a natural consequence would be cold food or no food. When a teenage boy comes in after his curfew on Friday night, a logical consequence would be to ground him on Saturday night. But to ground him for two weeks would be inappropriate.
Children know intuitively what is fair and right.

Adapted from Tamara Eberlein, Redbook, June 1993.

LEARN A WORD A DAY 5

galvanic \gal-VAN-ik\, adjective:

1. Of, pertaining to, or producing a direct current of electricity, especially when produced chemically.

2. Affecting or affected as if by an electric shock; startling; shocking.

3. Stimulating; energizing.

Reading the epic known to us as the Iliad is vastly different from the preliterate experience of hearing and seeing it performed. In place of the bard's galvanic flow of sound and image, the reader beholds a mute tome, the size of longish novel. --Michael E. Hobart and Zachary S. Schiffman, [1]Information Ages Hemingway's letters, which often seem to have been dashed off at the end of the day, display little of the galvanic style that animated his early (and finest) fiction. --Michiko Kakutani, "Tone It Down, He Urged Hemingway," [2]New York Times, November 19, 1996 What was special -- and at the time, galvanic -- about his early writing was its precision and concision. --Michiko Kakutani, "The Hunter Returns, Weary but Still Macho," [3]New York Times, June 22, 1999

WHAT SAYS THE TABIB? 5

10 Tips for a Better Sleep

Feeling crabby lately? It could be you aren't getting enough sleep. Although the average adult needs seven to nine hours of sleep a night, that number could be hard to come by if you factor in work, taking care of children and managing a household. Then, there are the unexpected challenges that can keep you up at night — financial worries, layoffs, and illness or relationship issues.

Grumpiness isn't the only result of sleep deprivation. Getting too little sleep impairs memory, reaction time and alertness. Tired people are less productive at work, less patient with others and less interactive in relationships.

Try one or two of the following tips or a combination until you have enough quality sleep to feel alert and well rested. If these tips don't work, see your doctor. You could have a sleep disorder, such as obstructive sleep apnea, that requires medical attention.

1. Stick to a schedule, and don't sleep late on weekends. If you sleep late on Saturday and Sunday morning, you'll get Sunday night insomnia. Instead, go to bed and get up at about the same time every day.

2. Don't eat or drink a lot before bedtime. Eat a light dinner about two hours before sleeping. If you drink too much liquid before sleeping, you'll wake up repeatedly in the night for trips to the bathroom. Don’t eat spicy or fatty foods. They can cause heartburn, which may interfere with your sleep.

3. Avoid caffeine and nicotine. They're addictive stimulants and keep you awake. Smokers often experience withdrawal symptoms at night, and smoking in bed can be dangerous. Caffeine should be avoided for eight hours before your desired bedtime.

4. Exercise. If you're trying to sleep better, the best time to exercise is in the afternoon. A program of regular physical activity enhances the quality of nocturnal sleep.

5. A slightly cool room is ideal for sleeping. This mimics your internal temperature drop during sleep, so turn off the heat and save on fuel bills. If you tend to get cold, use blankets or wear socks. If you tend to over heat, wear light clothes and sleep under single sheets.

6. Sleep primarily at night. Daytime naps steal hours from nighttime slumber. Limit daytime sleep to less than one hour, no later than 3 p.m.

7. Keep it quiet. Silence is more conducive to sleep. Turn off the radio and TV. Use earplugs or a fan or some other source of constant, soothing, background noise to mask sounds you can't control, such as a busy street, trains, airplanes or even a snoring partner. Double-pane windows and heavy curtains also muffle outside noise.

8. Make your bed. A good bed is subjective and different for each person. Make sure you have a bed that is comfortable and offers orthopedic comfort. If you share your bed, make sure there’s enough room for all. Use your bed only for sleep and sex.

9. Soak and sack out. Taking a hot shower or bath before bed helps bring on sleep because they can relax tense muscles.

10. Don’t rely on sleeping pills. Use the lowest dosage. Try doing away with it gradually.

(Adapted from a relationship advice website in 2004)

TIPS FOR US-NESS 6

This issue’s tips may seem short but I believe they are very useful ones especially most of us are young parents with small kids. We spend too much time on our kids that we some time forget about the people who brought the kids into the world – US!

To enhance your relationship with your life partner:
Just one five minute connection a day can make for a happier marriage. So go ahead and spend five minutes.

Cuddle at the most important time of the day.
Most couples fit their cuddles in at the end of the day, but cuddling in the morning is even more rewarding. The physical contact will keep you feeling close to each other all day, so set the alarm five minutes early, and then snuggle. You can talk, but you don't have to. The most important part is that you're holding each other. It'll help you both start the day feeling loved, and you'll feel that way all day long.

Ask each other one simple question before you head out the door.
What is it? "Anything special going on today?" Talking about the daily details of our lives is just as important to couples as sharing hopes, dreams, and fears with each other. The nitty-gritty details determine a lot of how we act and feel on any given day, so asking about them is a great way to build understanding and rapport. Then, when you're together again at the end of the day, ask how that special something -- that meeting, phone call to an important client, or lunch with a friend went. The results? You'll feel connected.

Share what you like about each other
When a conversation about cars sprang up at a gathering with friends, one woman gave her husband credit for making their old clunker last with his TLC. She later said, "He looked so happy, I realized I should tell him more often how much I appreciate the things he does. I didn't think I had to tell him. I assumed he knew how much I appreciate him." The moral? If there's something you appreciate about your partner, from his parenting skills to the way he painted the garage last month, speak up! If you start, you may enjoy the same treatment from your husband. How does praise work magic? It reminds your partner that you love them, and knowing they're loved makes them more willing to iron out differences.

Do small kindnesses for each other
The good we do for our partner tends to come back to us. When you're thoughtful to your partner, they're inclined to be thoughtful in return. And those acts of kindness make for a loving feeling between two people. So pick up each other's favorite dessert, or clip articles you think your spouse might like. The amount of love those small kindnesses will bring you is without limit.
Use this instant stress buster
One of the most important things we've discovered about happy couples is that they spend five minutes griping to each other about things that stressed them out during the day, taking turns talking. This lowers the amount of stress they feel and lets them enjoy the rest of their evening together.

I hope we all benefit from these tips and practice them everyday. Once they become habitual, you needn’t remind yourself anymore as they will happen naturally. Good luck!

(Adapted from a relationship advice website in 2004)